Music; Take Me Away

The Class

2008-12-18T17:59:00.003+08:00

The Class.

thanks for telling me about it cuimin.

the suckiest ending of all time.

damn you director! or whoever cancelled season two.

im in love with lizzy caplan

Brad; Muse

Gundam 00 AMV

2008-11-26T23:07:00.003+08:00

These are two gundam 00 AMV's i have created. they are only previews, so expect full versions to be coming out soon! Enjoy!

Gundam 00 AMV (1)

Gundam 00 AMV (2)

as your fingers wound around my heart
your eyes pulled me deeper into the abyss
"i cannot possibly join with an angel,
when i have sold my soul to the devil"
- Lelouch

Brad; Muse

Dedication: Friends

2008-11-18T11:41:00.005+08:00

this post is dedicated to all my friends.

Song: Friends by Stephanie

Note: read the coloured english translaltions, and take note especially of the words i have bolded or italicised. all the english lyrics mean a lot to me. Enjoy.

onaji egao shiteta
sonna bokura mo ikunen mo kasanesugite
surechigau keshiki wo
ukeirerarezu ni mogaiteru

While showing the same smile,
just like that, a number of years have passed
while the sceneries pass by,
we are struggling to accept it

muda na PURAIDO sutesari
kono sekai ni yasashisa wo

abandoning this useless pride,
and hoping for gentleness in this world

I Gotta Say
yuuki wo misetsukete mo tsuyogatte mo
hitori dewa ikirarenai
ano hi no yakusoku nara
kokoro no fukaku ni nokotteiru yo ima demo

I gotta say
Even though I show all my courage and strength,
I can’t live alone
As the promise from that day
still remains deep in my heart, even until now

wakarete mata deai
arata na michi ni hikari mitsuke arukidasu
umarete kara zutto
kurikaesu koto de tsunagatteku

Meeting again after parting
I found light in a newfound path, and walk on
Ever since I was born,
it happens again and again, strung together

itsunoma ni kimi to boku mo
sorezore mirai wo te ni shite

And between pauses of time, both of us
started building our own future

I Gotta Say
tooku hanareteite mo, aenakute mo
tsuyoi kizuna wa aru kara
“yume ga kanaimasu youni”
kokoro no soko kara inotteiru yo
We’re friends forever

I gotta say
Even if we’re far apart, and unable to meet
There is strong bond between us
“May the dreams come true,”
Pray for me from the bottom of your heart
We’re friends forever

mata au koto wo chikai
yubikiri shite
bokura wa arukidashita ne
mienai ikisaki e to
mayoinagara demo
susundeiru yo

itsudemo…

Pledging to meet again,
We did a pinky promise
before setting out
towards the unseen destination
Even when full of doubt,
we still march on

Always…

kawariyuku kisetsu to
toki no naka
natsukashii MELODIES
otona ni natte mo
iroase wa shinai yo
bokutachi no PRECIOUS MEMORIES

In the midst of these changing seasons
and flow of time,
the reminiscent melodies remain
Even when I’ve become an adult,
it won’t fade:
Our precious memories

I Gotta Say
yuuki wo misetsukete mo tsuyogatte mo
hitori dewa ikirarenai
ano hi no yakusoku nara
kokoro no fukaku ni nokotteiru yo

I gotta say
Even though you show all your courage and strength,
You can’t live alone
As the promise from that day
still remains deep in my heart, even until now

As life goes on…
wasurecha ikenai kara, Yeah
Don’t let it go…
kono hiroi daichi to nakama-tachi no koto

As life goes on…
I won’t forget, yeah
Don’t let it go…
About this vast earth, and about those friends

"and about those friends"

the lyrics

are poems enough.

Brad; Muse

Graduation

2008-11-15T09:43:00.004+08:00

right i'm so sorry that i haven't been posting much. but so much stuff has been going on and im seriously "shagged" as my sister would dearly put it. so ill start with graduation rehearsals.

Graduation Rehearsals (day 1)

It took them three hours to queue us up. how lousy can management GET these days. then they ensued to drag us to the corridors behind the hall, and it was like a major traffic jam. i couldn't see much because i was at the back, ROW 19. by the way, shanisse was sitting on my right, then daryl, rei chern, zi jian, si han, and jin hien was sitting on my left in that order starting with daryl.

so we filed into the hall, and we started the whole graduation routine starting with the torchbearers passing on whatever crap they had to the p5 torchbearers. on a side note: one of the torchbearers was miao ling. so then it was our turn to go up and receive whatever prizes or certs we got. then it was my turn to go up. and well, i got jeered at, like LOUDLY. 6A started it, and almost everybody else followed. at that moment i was exactly looking at the entire p6 cohort with extreme distate, because id expect those immature shameless brats to bring shame upon themselves. however, i was looking for the TEACHERS, who were honestly, just standing there.

so is that what nan hua comes to? yeah it is, i was a little hurt. at that point. so i went down, and returned valiantly back to my seat. unconcerned, at that point. later when we were dismissed. why the F*CK was everybody joking about me being jeered? every F*CKING person i saw was like laughing about it. WHAT THE BLOODY F*CK?!

so yeah. at that point i was quite pissed. and extremely sad. i mean, cant i even feel a sense of belonging sometimes? and all those times in nan hua, false joy? suddenly everything i saw in terms of my time in nan hua became empty. useless. fake. the rest of the day passed by in a blurr.

Graduation Rehearsals (day 2)

same thing as yesterday, except well, guess what? i went up, i got jeered, THEN i got yelled at by ms francis wong, "you deserve to be boo-ed" oh well thank you for your OH SO KIND ENCOURAGEMENT. at this point, everything kind of made a weird kind of sense you know? 6A started it, 6A was ms francis wong's class, and the teachers "announcement" to stop jeering didnt do a damn thing. see the links?

well after she shouted "just get out of here" of course i bloody hell got the hell out of there. i was about to run off to get my bag and just exit the damn school when mrs goh caught me by the arm, and told me 'not to go in there just yet' HELL NO, i was NOT going back in there. but because of what she said, i guess i DIDNT run out of the school. but i ran to some deserted corner in the school, and guess what i did? i closed my eyes, and i breathed. trying to find, silence. thats the worse part about the world these days, you can never truly find, absolute silence.

so when i was properly cooled down i returned to the hall. there mrs goh needed to talk to me. so she brought me to the back of the hall, and started explaining the situation. you cannot measure how profoundly grateful i was to her at that moment, she was understanding and empathetic. so at that moment you know, i was so tired. i mean it. i was tired of being closed. i was tired of putting on a facade. i was tired of kidding both myself and other people, i was tired of putting on a mask. i was tired of doing all those things and more. so i just told her things i wouldn't normally tell her.

i was so afraid of being hurt, so afraid of being changed, affected. that i had closed myself off. well there are reasons beyond that but, those are some of them. and now maybe i can truly help those like me. ostracized, boycotted, outsiders. so closed off, but with so much potential.

so after that i went for rehearsals, but not grad rehearsals, skit rehearsals. i was in charge of all the sounds, and i had to say the "announcement" and the "disclaimer" at the start of the skit. well, when we were finishing up, xin hui msged me to ask me if i was alright. i think that was awfully nice of her, and i appreciated it.

right so, i seriously considered not going to graduation at all. what was the point? avoid all the embarrassment and get my awards delivered in a box. i got the Yang Tau Chor Sturdy n Studious award as well as the Prism Award for robotics by the way. but in the end, i talked to some people, and because of their encouragement, i went to graduation. not for myself, i decided, but for them.

Graduation Day

I came to school at like 11, for the graduation skit rehearsals. apparently there was something scrwed up with the projection system after i short circuited the laptop, but i fixed it so it was alright. then we ran through the entire thing twice. and i got scolded by the dancers because apparently i "screwed something up" and "no wonder i was jeered" at that point i was like, yknow what? screw this. so because it was already quite late i ran back to the 6K classroom to get changed and fixed up.

so we had to button up the top of our shirt, which is like at the collar. and because my shirt's collar was agonizingly tight, i was like half choking on my shirt. then they tied this cute litte blue and red ribbong under my collar, with a bow at the front. and i have no idea how i looked but... twas weird that was all i could say. oh and after that we were all going quite high because of the way some of us looked and the way MDM TEO looked, with that gold dress n all. so i went around snapping pictures of random people with my phone, INCLUDING mdm teo, and cheng lao shi.

then we went to line up in our rows and i continued snapping pictures of people, including mr lim when we were going into the hall. so we marched into the hall with a solemn expression on all our faces, and then they started giving long speeches in both english and mandarin. and i was RESTLESS okay. then finally they started giving out the awards. so i decided that every 6JK person who went up there i would clap loudly for. and it was weird cos daryl, reichern and sometimes shanisse followed, then we were the only ones clapping in the entire hall! but when miao ling went up, i also clapped, very very loudly. but NO ONE ELSE DID... shanisse daryl and reichern are chao evil, they did that on purpose, so i was the only idiot down there clapping like crazy. lol but i dont mind, this is graduation isnt it?

when it was my turn to go up, i was extremely nervous! i mean, not that i have stage fright, but if i get jeered, what would my parents say yeah? but then i thought of someone, and then i thought of my friends, and i reminded myself that i was NOT going up for myself, but for them. so i walked, straight toward the guest of honor. by the way, my picture looked horrible but i didnt exactly care at that moment. i received the prize, said thank you, bowed, and got off the stage. the principal was kind enough to tell me i had alot of "supporters". by the way, i haven't yet said if i had gotten jeered or not, have i? well i DID get jeered. but i was strangely happy after it, because my friends cheered LOUDER. and i could hear the voices above everyone elses. so you rock guys! *grins*

well after that i went to the back to collect my awards n everything, then passed them to my parents, and went backstage to prepare for the skit. before that i went to take a picture with mdm may lee! then backstage i took pictures with li lao shi, mr kum, and mrs goh! yeah and then we did the skit, and it went great, better than usual in fact. so we were like estatic and like laughing here n there. then i went to class to get my bag, and i FORGOT MY NAPFA GOLD CERT which i left on the table, ah nvm, thurs go back and take.

then i met deirdre which passed me this cute little card from all my AV seniors and it was so sweet can! ahhh. i love all of them lol.

but the tea party was the most fun of all! yeah i drank like four cups of fruit punch, then they kept releasing balloons into the sky with messages written on them, i took a picture of a bunch of balloons floating into the sky!! well then the girls were sitting in one corner and playing truth or dare. then jin yang and i were like finding MARCUS GOH, shanisse's crush. so in the end, the guys were pushing marcus toward shanisse, and the girls were pushing shanisse toward marcus goh!

then marcus was like HARDLY RESISTING AT ALL. and at first we just wanted marcus to hug shanisse, or put an arm around her. then marcus' mum was like, oh lemme take a picture of you all LOL. so she did, then we started pushing them together again, cept jin yang tied a rope around shanisse and we started dragging the both of them together, then miao ling was there yelling sth about being together forever in chinese. so in the end we got the both of them together, then we made both of them say "i do" and they did! so i shouted valiantly, "i now pronounce you man and wife! but they SEPERATED. so evil.

so jin yang started tying a rope around BOTH OF THEM, hahaha so evil. then i tightened it and tied a deadknot, so they couldnt escape. then miao ling, jin yang, si han and the rest including me were laughing like siao. then suddenly somebody shouted out, "lets push them to the floor!" so we did, and the funny part is like marcus landed on top of shanisse, and it was so funny! and everybody was laughing like siao. then shanisse made the mistake of standing up while marcus was still on the floor. his head was at like shanisse's BUTT! zomg so funny, we nearly collasped with laugher, seriously.

then some evil genius thought of doing the same thing to me and miao ling. like wtf? so they dragged me to the floor and like forced me to kneel before miao ling. and the girls dragged miao ling over and like forced her to say "i do" we said it, in unison, "i do NOT" so in the end we didnt get tied up, thankfully oh god. i wouldnt know what i would do if i were tied up with miao ling.

then after that we were like forcing marcus to kiss shanisse? and his lips came THIS CLOSE to shanisse cheek or lips? but it was a "misfire" so hillarious. gosh we were seriously like dying of laughter by then. then shanisse was all flustered, and miao ling's aunt was like video taping the WHOLE THING, miao ling! i want that tape! but unfortunately, miao ling had to go back to her aunt's place, cos her parents were having some cruise of superstar virgo or something. and the fun ended. then we had to go back cos they started switching off the floodlights lol.

well, it was an awesomely fun night. and ill miss you all okay! the WHOLE of 6JK, ill miss your antics and your quarrels and everything. and all the teachers! we shall have a class reunion next year together with the teachers yes? and special mention (ill miss you especially) to: Gideon, who has been a loyal friend. Mrs Goh, a really understanding teacher, Ashburn, a fun loving person, Limin, a great friend and an awesome personality! Cheng Lao Shi, for all her encouragement, and of course, Miao Ling, for just being herself. ill miss you all! and you guys rock!

6JK'08 Forever.

in times past, your distant memories
fading, but still ever present
blurred, but still as prominent
ill never forget.

Brad; Muse

Quiz 52

2008-11-07T10:43:00.002+08:00

ah so this is quiz limin tagged me to do.

1) Do you have secrets?
everybody has secrets

2) How do you explain love?
love is when you realise your just a half of the whole. love is patient, love is kind, love is never jealous. love is not a because, but a despite, and love is so much more, havent i said enough?

3) Do you enjoy going to school?
yes, if im in a good mood, no if im in a rebellious mood.

4) What would you do with a billion dollars?
Save about 20% of it. use another 10% of it to build churches and organise evangalistic missions. give 10% of it to my parents. donate 10% to assorted charities. then 50% investment

5) Would you fall in love with your best friend?
it depends who is my bestfriend, and whether im gay or straight. and yeah, im straight.

6) Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
why do they ask this so much. [limin's answer]
damn good question. my answer is, "the most coveted words are not, someone loves me, but, i love you."

7) List out your current 10 favourite songs.
i cant bother, their all either instrumentals or japanese songs. or korean.

8) If the person you secretly like is attached, what would you do?
leave her alone. if i truly loved that person then i would want what was best for her, and what would make her happy, which is her attachment.

9) Is there anything which has made you extremely happy?
no. but fufillment would.

10) List the artists you listen to.
i cant bother!

11) How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
an artisian. artist, musician, writer. at the same time a part-time lawyer. also an evangalist. also searching for the truth of the world, and life.

12) What is currently the most important thing to you?
my world. the people around me.

13) What is the kind of person you think who tagged you is?
oh, limin. happy-go-lucky. slightly hyper. somewhat cute. understanding, to an extent, but even if she doesnt understand she TRIES which is more than i can say for some people. she's something special, but im not sure if she realises it herself *smiles*

14) Would you rather have a rich but ugly wife or poor but pretty wife?
i wouldnt choose a wife based on status nor looks.

15) What are your favourite colours?
white, black, and gold.

16) Would you give all in your relationship?
depends what kind of relationship it is.

17) If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
i wouldnt do such a shallow thing.

18) Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing someone has done?
i can forgive, but i will never, forget.

19) Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
now? single, immaturity prevents me from being in a healthy relationship anyway. in 20 years time? definitely attached.

20) 5 ppl to tag
amanda
sonjia, IF YUORE EVEN READING TIHS
gideon (if he even has a blog)
cuimin
rosemarie

quote, Emily Dickinson

"Because i could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And i had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school where children played,
Their lessons scarcely done;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
we paased the setting sun.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then't is centuries; but each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity."

-Emily Dickinson

Brad; Muse

posts posts and more posts

2008-10-24T13:59:00.002+08:00

fine limin ill post ill post! but uh, not about my daily life, not now at least. this is going to be a really short post because im leaving the hse in about 10 minutes for church camp! and i think its freaking diao because two days after my church camp is bintan camp, which makes it really tiring.

anyway ytd and today (morn) was floorball for guys and captainsball for girls. i, personally, am moderately good at floorball since i have experience in hockey. but the rest of the 6JK team SUCKED! really! they cant even receive a ball properly! but our defense is good so we scored 0-0. and the girls won captainsball, but i wanted to play!! too bad im not a girl. tut tut.

then after today's round of floorball, we went to the NUS (which is just opposite my house?!) physics workshop! then we saw some PREETYYY amazing science at work. and we got to take home a few interesting things. personally i like the sound wave thing, pretty awesome! and i like totally burned my finger in the liquid nitrogen. oh and the mag lev was cool too!

right okay dont msg me for the next three days because ill be at church camp, syonara! and uh, blog more later.

roses are red
violets are blue
but none of them
are as beautiful as you

Brad; Muse

Justin's Outing

2008-10-17T07:00:00.008+08:00

right so its like 7 a.m and here i am posting about justin's outing which was yesterday (thurs) from 11am to 6pm. first of all ill list who went, and then what they were wearing.

Attendance(in no order of merit):
Me(Bradley)
Justin
Limin
Miao Ling
Xin Hui
Shi Yang
Harry
William
Mervin
Ashburn
Keeve
Gabriel
Ding Han

there are TWO categories in dress attire, to make it easier - Jeans and Others

Dress Attire:

Jeans

Miao Ling - Clothes: a pair of faded blue skinny jeans and a red and white striped T-shirt. Bag: black-pink billabong bag. Hair: Long, tied back. (i think it looks better UNtied though.)

Xin Hui - Clothes: dark blue jeans and a yellow top with ring bindings at the back. Bag: uh! cant remember. Hair: Short, hung loose, slightly curled

Limin - Clothes: slightly worn pair of jeans, darkblue-bluish. White top with olive green jacket. Bag: Red and beige Nike bag. Hair: Long and tied back.

Me(Bradley) - Clothes: worn pair of dark blue jeans, with faded knees. black ripcurl T-shirt, choker, and a white over-shirt. Bag: Black n Leather. Hair: all over the place, as usual.

Justin - Clothes: black jeans, or at least they looked like jeans. Orange singlet and a dark blue jacket. Bag: Sling bag. Hair: cropped short? the same larh!

ive decided to omit "Hair" in others because their all boys and it all looks the same! and "Bag" too cos i have no idea what some are carrying!

Others

Shi Yang - Red T-shirt and beige bermudas

Harry - lame puma T-shirt and bermudas (WHICH WERE TOO HIGH)

William - more or less followed his brother (above)

Mervin - Cargo pants with some T-shirt and a jacket

Ashburn - White shirt and black bermudas. still okay, but ah, the shirt is too long for you :P

Keeve - HE CAME IN HIS PAJAMAS. a blue T-shirt (PLAIN) and beige bermudas (looks like it was 10 years old)

Gabriel - Uh, T-shirt and Bermudas

Ding Han - some weird T-shirt with a face on it and bermudas!

=======================================================

okay now i can proceed to the actual outing. We met up at 11 am at the school gate, then we went to clementi MRT to meet gabriel and ashburn. Then we took a train to City Hall and walked to Marina Sq. Then we took like five minutes calling limin repeatedly and asking her, WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?! but in the end we found her. So we went to the bowling alley and justin went to get us movie tickets.

GABRIEL was swinging his bowling ball onto OTHER lanes. Justin kept fooling around trying to kick the ball. Shi Yang nearly dislocated his fingers. Limin and Miao ling - first timers. so they did uh quite okay. but they need to improve their form though..... anw, i bowled for only like a coupla shots cos justin didnt want to bowl anymore. Strike, spare and spare *grins*

the movie was max payne. and if im correct heres how we sat in ROW Q -
Miao Ling. Xin Hui. Limin. Me(Bradley). Ashburn. Gabriel.

i think max payne was GROSSLY UNDERRATED. it had an ALMOST sex scene. like THIRTY people died. there was so much blood and gunfire. and they rated it PG! like wtf right? then the ending sucked too.

so we fooled around a bit and then we went arcade. the girls had TOTALLY nothing to do so they went shopping. and i was like =.= but they went anyway. and i didnt play anything i just like sat there and watched this coupla old geezers play pool. this one guy had this awesome round-the-bend trickshot and he like downed three in one shot. anyway they didnt want to play arcade after some time so i called Miao Ling, (i didnt have xin hui's number and limin didnt pick up her phone) and found out they were at precious thots.

so we went to precious thots, picked up the girls, went to the mrt JUST IN TIME to catch the rush hour crowd. it was SO CROWDED, i was standing TWO INCHES away from the pole, which btw like 15 people were grabbing. Miao Ling was lucky, she got off at RedHill. then xin hui got off somewhere. then after that this woman fell on me !!!! so i had no choice larh, i was like struggling to keep my balance and stop her from falling to the ground. =.= in the end we went justin's house, watched some soccer, some tennis, then i went home at about 7 p.m and promptly went to sleep

okay thats about it, blog more next time!

a flower floats lazily in the wind
each petal, hanging on dearly
as time drags on, they start to drop
one by one, and they fall to the ground
memories of distant past.

Brad; Muse

Passion and Love. Twin Doves of Destiny

2008-10-14T21:12:00.004+08:00

hey people! i havent posted for so long! arrghs! because of PSLE apparently, and i have no desire to post about THAT. so uh, ill post about stuff that happened after that :D. hope you'll continue reading my blog because its NOT dead.

Swensens:

I KNOW this is so old but i still have to post about it. First we took 105 to IMM and eaeting swensens! the 7 of us,

me
gabriel
ashburn
limin
shanisse
sihan
jasmine

and jasmine paid for everything, so yays for her! then we were arguing about what to order. Then while everybody was busy talking to each other, i was just like, "why dont we order a pizza and split?" "why dont we get a pizza then split it?" then i said that over and over again until someone noticed me (Limin) and went, "hey thats a good idea! why you never say sooner?" then i just gave her the =.= look. So finally we didnt order pizza anyway but just ordered the GIANT EARTHQUAKE! so shuang, but we like conned the management by saying it WASNT our ice cream (really wasnt, we didnt order it) but we ate like half of it anyway LOL.

Then after we went to JEC (actually we wanted to go JP but we didnt have time) and didnt get my oreo crush anyway. okay nvm, so we went to take neoprints, then it was insane cos the thing kept reloading and reloading and everything was in JAPANESE so we couldnt read a thing and it was super confusing.

then we wanted to go to watch a movie, but the only available one that we could watch and go home on time was DARK KNIGHT at 4 p.m. but it was like 2 hrs 15 mins so we couldnt watch it anyway. Then we wanted to go ice skating but they were holding some siao competition so we couldnt do that EITHER. So we ended up arcading for awhile. Then on the way back i consumed my super awesome strawberry milkshake :D.

okay thats the end of THAT.

Tennis Match:

this is alot more recent. so limin, shanisse, me and daryl came over to my place to play tennis. but it was raining!!! who cares anyway, we just took the manual labour of rolling dry the entire tennis court. damn. so we were a little late anyway.

then after a little warm up me and daryl started teaching limin and shanisse. basically they didnt lock their wrist and the ball kept sinewing everywhere. limin improved more bcos she wasnt acting like a retard xD but it was fun.

Love(1):

anyway what got me thinking about it is this lame phrase called "Passion and Love, Twin Doves of Destiny." so i got thinking.

what IS love anyway? some say its when you realise youre only a half of a whole. some say its when you become part of another person, others say its when another person becomes part of you. "love" doesnt necessarily have to be between a couple. it can mean a strong bond between two friends, or even just an appreciation of beauty in a work or art, or even... a person.

love, is not a "because" but a "despite". you dont love that person because of some admirable qualities they have, i dont think it works that way at all. no matter how many bad habits they have, no matter how bad or mean they are to people around them or even you, youd still love em. because i believe that love is not superficial, and it cannot be developed, it is a sort of an interlocking with another persons heart and soul, because both of them are so beautiful, so beautiful that they fit together, perfectly.

love means that there are no secrets from each other. you completely trust the person, and he/she completely trusts you. he/she knows the worst thing about you, and its absolutely okay. you have to be open to each other, and you have to undestand each other. because true love is not between TWO people, its about two people becoming ONE.

and thats part 1 of my long lecture of love, in my opinion, cant possibly write down everything now, i plan to make a compilation! well il post more later! see you when i see you.

i see the beauty of your heart
and the elegance of your soul
how could you shut me out
white a blank stare, and cold eyes
the hands of time are ever ticking
time is running out
tick. tock.

Brad; Muse

waiting

2008-09-14T21:17:00.002+08:00

fuck. you know that feeling where youre leaning against a lamp post on a street corner? and its raining? and youre waiting for her?

and youre smiling because youve got that bouquet of flowers and youre leaning over it to keep it dry?and suddenly she calls you. and says she cant make it? fuck.

*pained expression*

tapping my foot, smiling to myself
seeing your face, in my minds eye
thinking how good it will feel
to have you in my arms again
ill wait.

Brad; Muse

im not emo!

2008-09-10T19:38:00.007+08:00

why does everybody say im emo?! *looks at previous post* OKAY I GET IT. but im not seriously, that was a kinda of a bad day. so disregard that! normally im quite okay, i think at least. so anyway, nobody is going for the lantern festival thing, cos like, we all have to study and such, plus no one wants to go for lunch with me this friday after LC. so i guess im going alone. AND listening compre is VERY VERY VERY important. so i have to sleep early tomorrow!

my mum is going to exchange the northstar size 9 shoes for size 10 shoes cos the 9s dont fit xD (yes those shoes are EXACTLY like the ones miao ling and shi yang wear, nice i might say) oh and miao ling finally changed her shoes, like honestly, its about time! you cant go around wearing stage shoes all the time -.- yeah their stage shoes.

jing wei doesnt want to go bintan camp. unless i pay her 200 bucks. very unfortunate right? oh and my prelims score is HALF A MARK higher than my sisters PSLE score, which i guess is quite good? but i have to improve on my chinese and my science. i guess, so im going to work harder, and harder... and harder still! till i get four A*.

jin yang is crazy he got 374/400, its crazy, CERAZE... amanda is infectious by the way, suddenly i feel hyper and spazzy too. she jogs 16x3=48km a week. not bad, not bad. for a girl. *grins* im going to have to do pumping and leg exercises if i want to do parkour or free running when i grow up, hey its a sport too!

so good luck to all for PSLE listening compre! and wish me luck as well!
P.S goodnight, sweet dreams. amanda

to the sweet songbirds that sing in the morn
they sing with wide beaks and open hearts
dainty little voices in the air
goodnight, sweet dreams.

Brad; Muse

pleas for help

2008-09-06T21:31:00.002+08:00

i dont know, i just feel really out of it today, i guess, its weighing me down. too much. well okay, in the morning, got up, showered. got my sorry butt to queenstown library to study with my *ahem* friends. so... it was real nice, and after that i had a ton of tuition. and now i am sitting here, typing in this blog, because i have no one to talk to.

limin's away somewhere, who KNOWS where. amanda's audiing, or something. i dont know. shanisse is off the computer and her MUM is there. ben's not online. haha, hillarious. anyway, it seems so unreal these days, so detached. because i havent been facing myself, lately. its been kinda too much you know, i feel the need to place myself out of it totally, and thats exactly what ive done. by now you must be killing yourself, *WHATS IT?!* fine ill answer you, everything. my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions, my HEART. its getting... heavy. i need to tell someone but ive no one to tell! i cant. there... isnt anyone.

though i can find momentary laspes of comfort in the company of friends, it still hurts. whenever im alone, whenever i think about it. whenever i feel... anything. and im confused of course, about where to put myself, where to put my heart. 'course, if you dont know me, this will mean nothing to you, nothing.

poems, ah their good.

Crimson Roses

when we're together
locked in warm embrace
you tell me you feel so
secure.

when you are away
you call me, and tell me
that you miss me, and you
love me.

so why then, cant you admit it
why then, do you have to hide it
why then, do i have to hate it
why cant you just
let go.

because i cannot stand darkness
i cannot be without you
i cannot love you with all my heart
when you cry tears of
crimson roses.

Brad; Muse

tag replies

2008-09-05T18:48:00.002+08:00

this post is entirely dedicated to tag replying! *stares at tagboard* okay you know what, this is going to take SOME TIME. im starting from august 14!

lets do this.

nigie: this aint dead yet my boy, not yet.
anonymous(1): come on people! you cant expect me to post EVERYDAY with psle coming up and all
shanisse: what do you mean by overly mature? actually i meant it to be like a sort of romance novel kind of thing :D.
anonymous (2): no i did not copy it from d.gray man. i listened to this song called river flowed in me by yiruma, and he played it with a white piano. plus it was a very very nice song. thus i wanted to create a story where the narrator was a pianist, with very deep emotions and the wish to share his emotions through music with others.
N: you know, if you ever want to improve your chinese, you should post LESS, work MORE.
siew: im actually composing an actual song! but i might change the lyrics a little. hey its really fun ykno!
n: do me a favour, shut up, and stop spamming my tagboard.
.limin; : yep definitely agree with you, if youve seen nigels blog, lets just call it "ramblings of a stuck hog" and leave it at that. yes i can come!
ash: "her" is not found yet :P and as for nigel, it should say, "please please please! ill do ANYTHING, just give me a LIFE LIMIN, PLEASE!!!" *chuckles*
brad: well HELLO brad, i mean really, didnt you SEE the SIGN ABOVE MY TAGBOARD? i will NOT post in THERE. youre the biggest idiot in the world.
ahbear: nigel doesnt act very well
ahbear AKA nigel: can you please SHUT UP?
fel: hes fake, and fel, im so glad that you made up with vania and all, hope you remain that kind of closeness for a long time!
ningxin: dunno your blog, drop me a URL, and their not emo!
N: see, the thing is, i dont want my blog to be linked to "THE INSANE RAMBLINGS OF A DEMENTED SANTA CLAUS, NO WAIT FATTER" okay.
shi yin: when im free.
anonymous (3): i think life is a whole lot more complex than any of us can ever imagine, if it was so simple, we'd have figured it out by now. but still, we have faith. its not that they dont want to be honest with each other, trust me, everybody wants to be honest with SOMEBODY, but sometimes, they just cant TRUST anyone, and it makes them feel safer, inside. and though it is true, words cannot be taken back, that's why it is all the more important for you to choose your words carefully, and important for the UNDERSTANDING between you and the person you are talking to. communication is the key here. and you never really know if you can trust someone, till you get to know him or her better. so my advice is to be close to them, then see for yourself! but if one day you decide that youd reveal your identity, im always here, trustable, and if you dont believe, me, see for yourself :P.
anonymous (3): believe me, i try. sometimes its so easy to slip into different moods, and i lose myself in my emotions, so, ill try harder *lopsided smile*
anonymous (3): we WERE a team, i LIKED my seniors, they were the BEST. then they were gone, and the bimbos, jerks, idiots, and fools took over. and what kept the speakers going, the mikes working, the mixer MIXING. was ME. and just to tell you, i didnt do PA for that day, and every was screwed up, the music didnt play on time, the feedback was horrible, there was only two mics? so. yeah. but it wasnt THAT bad, i mean, the juniors helped so, wasnt all that horrid. i like my juniors too :P
anonymous (3): i do respect them for who they are. thats exaclty my point. ill respect them for who they are when they respect me for who I am.

well, thanks for tagging, come back soon!

how sweet, your love
how magnificent, it runs deep
it is everlasting, jesus' love
love.

Brad; Muse

My Nightmare

2008-08-26T20:11:00.001+08:00

My Nightmare

I walked down the empty roads. An old chapel was in ruins, its large brass bell split down the middle, its walls torn down and its pews upturned. The storehouse beside it was dead as well; rubble was the only thing left. All around me, buildings were crumbled, and rubble littered the ground. They were empty, dead, devoid of life. I did not know how this happened, my stomach twisted.

I walked further down the street, there was nobody there. I shouted, “Is there anybody! Somebody!” There was nothing except the echo of my own voice. The sky was black, there were no clouds, yet I could see as if it were day. Then I noticed the odd shape of that cement slab, there seemed to be an irregularity, I walked closer toward it, and I saw the hand. The cement slab rolled off, and I saw the body. Rather, the bodies. All around me I saw the bodies, crushed and obliterated. Some were missing arms, legs, even heads. This one in front of me seemed to be missing a heart.

My face was pale. I took a stepped back. I shook with terror, my knuckles were white. I turned around suddenly, the landscape changed; in front of me was a huge heap of bodies, I recognized their faces, and gasped. My friends, my family, my relatives, everybody I knew. Gone. I shook uncontrollably, I whispered, “No, no this cannot be.” But somehow I knew, in my heart I knew my world was gone. I put my hands in between my hands, and screamed. My knuckles were white, and tears were streaming down my face.

I wanted to run away, but I could not, there was no where to run to. I was nowhere. My world was gone.

No, dont kill them
dont destroy my world
dont leave me alone
alone.

Brad; Muse

why.

2008-08-20T20:36:00.003+08:00

you know. sometimes you try so hard, yet you never get what you want? what you need? why is that? it isnt fair. life is never fair is it? so ill just work harder then, alot harder. and score for PSLE.

one of the things i wish is that people could be honest with each other. really i mean why do we pretend to be something were not? because we dont want others to know what we really are? how we are on the inside? is it really worth it? the sadest thing, worst thing that you can do to yourself and the people around you is to close yourself of to the rest of the world. to build a wall around yourself and not let anyone through. how can you not TRUST anyone? if you do that, you can be surrounded by dozens and dozens of people, and they you can smile, laugh, have fun with them, but does that really have meaning, if you close yourself off to the world? because truly if you do that youre all alone inside.

so i pray and hope that whoever is like that, will open themselves up to somebody. someday at least.

as the flowers bloom in the morn
why cant you open up?
why.

Brad;Muse

the music

2008-08-17T16:00:00.002+08:00

well i have written something and would like to share it! feel free to comment. the title of this piece is called, "The Music". Well anyway i will never post in that chatterbox so that brad there is a fake, and umm this blog isnt dead either. im sorry its just that ive been too caught up in exams and all.

enjoy!

My hands shook as I grasped the handle of the door. I squeezed on the knob and I pushed the door open. Wisps of my hair fell over my face as bright sunlight streamed across the room. Two bay windows were half open, letting in a gentle breeze. The walls were impeccably white, and the light that they reflected lit up the room. It was simple, yet elegant. My eyes found the main fixture of the room, a white grand piano. Gentle curving lines descended upon each other, and cast shadows across the room. A white piano seat lay on its side; tears filled my eyes as I bent to pick it up. I brushed away my tears and turned around; I smiled at Talia and motioned for her to come in.

Talia wore a simple ivy green dress; she looked slightly shocked as she took in the whole room. I walked toward her and cupped my hand around her cheek. Her cerulean eyes wandered over my smiling face. Then she reached out her hand, and seemed to finger something so delicate, then rested her hand on my head. “It’s beautiful”, she breathed. I smiled, kissed her forehead and was drawn back toward the piano. Its hood was already open, it seemed so inviting. I lifted the lid, and fingers were invariably drawn toward the ivory keys. My hands shook again as I fingered each one, they were so familiar. I looked to Talia, eyes brimming with tears; she nodded her head once, smiling.

I sat down, and rested my hands on the ivory. Sighing, I emptied my heart, and my mind. I started to play. The music was so complex, so luxuriant, I could not believe it was coming from me, but it was. My fingers moved across the keys swiftly, knowing each key by its name, and its pitch. The music flowed around us like a river; it swirled around the room and caressed my entire body. Tears rolled down my face, it was too beautiful, I looked to my side and saw Talia, she was crying as well.

Every note I played rang true in my heart and mind, my body flowed with the music, and its tempo. I immersed myself in the overwhelming current, and felt incredibly blissful. I slowed down and whispered softly to Talia, “This one is your lullaby” The music slowly drifted into a different rendition and pitch. It was slow peaceful, yet love flowed through its entire length, I felt it and I knew it was coming straight from my heart. I had never played this before, yet I knew every note, every chord. The music reached a crescendo, and then trilled its way down to a slow drawl. The lullaby weaved through every intricacy, it sang unbearably beautifully. As the ending came, I put all of my heart into it, and it was impossibly beautiful.

I stood up, and saw Talia weeping uncontrollably. Sighing, I embraced her, and stroked her hair slowly. Softly, I whispered in her ear, the words of her lullaby, in perfect pitch. She whispered, “I love you”, and hugged me fiercely. I stopped short, and said, “I love you too.”

comment please!

everyday i cry, because i knew the love of your arms
how could i ever match what you have given me
eternally grateful, eternally in love
ill never stop loving you.

-Talia's Lullaby

-Brad; Muse

when i find you.

2008-08-11T20:13:00.004+08:00

*gets rotten tomatoes out of hair* SORRY SORRY! Oral is in three days so i dont post that much anymore okay?

Father Lord in Heaven give me strength and wisdom, provide me the intellect to pass this oral examination, undoubtedly the most important one in my life, with flying colours. Thank you lord, Amen.

well anyway, i just wanted to repeat the message i have so kindly put over my tagboard. You see the "brad" there? thats not me. i will NOT post in that tagboard. ever. i will reply your tags right HERE. so you see that brad there? hes a fake. so please, do not mind him/her, or you will be just giving in to his/her wishes. that is to antagonise you and make you despise me.

on a more serious note, i want to start the main topic of this post... scientist argue that children know less than adults, are less competent than adults and are less mature than adults. undoubtedly this is true. to what extent however? why do our children teach us unforgettable lessons if they know less than us? when we grow up, when we mature, do you start to know more? or less? more importantly, are we fufilled?

active theologist say that to be completely fufilled, one must first fully embrace one's religion, to give themselves fully over to their god or their gods. however, how can this be, first of all, who are "themselves"? who is yourself? have you ever thought of that. how can you give yourself over to someone, or to someTHING. if there is no, yourself. more importantly, how do we know that this is really, ourselves? not just a mere reflection of something greater? or a fragment of something lost?

i believe that to be truly fufilled. first we must find ourselves. how do we find ourselves then? how do we even know, ourselves? there is no marker, there is no pointer. there is NOTHING to work with. you dont know. so most people just give themselves up to fate, let it steer their courses. and become what the world chooses for them. how can they truly ever be fufilled this way?

these people think that once we grow up, and mature, we are naturally, OURSELVES. however plausible, however likely this theory, how then did einstein think of the formula that changed our lives? he failed at math! how can we really find ourselves? and after that, be fufilled?

it is of no challenge that as children, we are not our full potential. we have yet to grow, yet to learn. however, the question remains, when we mature, when we become adults, are we the whole? or just a fragment. IF we are just a fragment then, where exactly is the rest of us? where indeed, are we.

many suggest that we are just a half of the whole. the other half being our spouse, our soulmate. how can this be true then, if there are so many other halves? how isit true if we have so many other matching soulmates, so many matching spouses. like the piece of a jigsaw puzzle, can we truly fit to more than one other piece? maybe. maybe not.

could it be, that there is only one for us? have many of us wasted our lives? our opportunities because we did not find that ONE? it is an unthinkable thought. but what if? is finding that one, truly fufilling us? what is our destiny in life? what is our fufillment? what makes us whole? will our fufillment do that? or will someone else? how are we fufilled.

how do we love.

because im wading in dark ocean currents
flying in trackless skies
walking on barren ground
i swear ill love you
when i find you.

-Brad; Muse

bitch of a day

2008-07-30T16:10:00.007+08:00

today. was. horrid. but before i say anything, im sorry for everything that ive done today. cos im feeling bad now 0.0. kay lets start with the beginning of the day.

before music lesson, our form teacher kindly announced that we had phototaking session today. and we were ALL in PE uniforms, and we had nothing to change into. that was the first thing that made me extremely pissed off. yah then music already right. mdm lee asked me to get everyone out of the classroom. fine, there were six or seven inside left larh. then i chased them out already, THEN what happened? mdm lee say i couldnt do a simple job to get everybody out. FINE. YOU TRY TO GET SEVEN STUBBORN PEOPLE WHO DONT RESPECT YOU TO GET OUT OF THE CLASSROOM in LESS THAN 10 SECONDS. that was the second thing that made me pissed.

right in music lesson, i comparatively damn guai already okay. then mdm lee was like, "i cannot trust any of you to do anything larh! even national day i wanted to put bradley in charge of PA, i also CANCEL larh, CANCEL." like wtf what the shit did i do wrong huh? you never even see me in ava, still want to comment. so after the class right, i told mdm lee. fine, im not doing the stupid PA for you, you can go get the frigging other stupid AVA members and go screw up your national day, i dont care. then she told me even if their stupider than me still can trust them, i told her they aint stupid, their IDIOTS, FOOLS. third thing that made me pissed.

then after THAT while walking down the steps, she told me i was incompetent as a monitor. YOU go lead down a noisy class that totally doesnt respect you with a MONITRESS who DOESNT do her duty and her nose is always buried in a BOOK! YOU GO TRY IT. that was the FOURTH thing that made me pissed.

then PE right. i thought andrew said something rude about my parents, so i chased him for five bloody seconds halfway across the court. and JUST cos of that mrs tay says i have to stay back for recess. so whatever larh, by then i was already super pissed so just give her attitude larh, purposely disobey her. then like wtf tee yong started trying to poke his f***cking stick into my ARSE. he didnt succeed and when he tried the third time i nearly punched his face in and broke his arm. luckily, mrs tay went, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? and she didnt believe me when i told her that i warned him not to do it again. like WTF IS HE TRYING TO DO LARH COMMIT ARTIFICIAL SODOMY? idiot. thats the FIFTH thing that made me pissed.

then when i was leading the class right, she kept giving me this frigging LOOK larh. so i remembered i WASNT supposed to be leading the class, JING WEI was. i was supposed to be like at the BACKK. so i went to the back, and asked jing wei to lead. like wtf larh whiner, "whyyyy must i goooo to leaaadddddd, canttt you gooooo to leaaadddd." like wtf right? then just cos of that she calls me an incompetent monitor, which is the SECOND TIME THAT DAY OKAY. AND THAT MADE ME SUPER PISSED. sixth thing that made me pissed.

almost forgot, in music shanisse told me the picture would look better without my ugly face. HAHA, well FINE THEN. seventh thing that made me pissed.

so by that time i already have like WAVES of irritation was cascading around me. and i had this dark insane look on my face. and like photo taking was in ONE FRIGGING PERIOD. but chinese was okay. since my chinese teacher is niceee :D.

then photo taking right, so i was like down there queueing up insulting the photographers left and right. so then this lady came and asked my register number larh, and btw all the teachers and mrs lee was RIGHT IN FRONT LIKE HELLO. then i was like sitting down (i was supposed to be standing up) and i said, register two billion and one. then she said, if you dont behave were not going to take your shot. then i was like REALLY?! SURE! then she gave me this screwball look and i went into my screw off bitch look. eigth thing that made me pissed.

then this photographer lady was like shouting out instructions and blah blah so she went, BOY GO LEFT A LITTLE BIT. then i finally yelled, OI, I HAVE A DAMN NAME OKAY PHOTOGRAPHER. (yes, oh the irony) so then they took the damn shot and i crouched down out of view in the fun shot. which i totally regret now. but it was the ninth thing that made me pissed.

then after that i totally SLAMMED my hand into the metal thing on purpose. and it BLED. it frigging BLED okay. then i realised we had to take this. fucking. combined. 6JK shot. AGAIN. so i went to mr lim and told him, ANOTHER ONE? cos i already told him ALOT of times i wanted to opt out. then he was like humour the teachers okay. YEAH RIGHT, THE TEACHERS WHO CALL ME INCOMPETENT, USELESS HUH, MAKE ME STAY BACK FOR RECESS, HUMOUR YOU?! that was the tenth thing that made me pissed.

so i was like down there arguing my pants off mr lim and mrs tay right before the combined shot, so it was a little sloppy, i regret that too. but when the pulled me into the frame and i protested like mad i looked over and miao ling was like looking at me. just, looking. and i went oh fucking shit. in the fun shot i had my head in my hands sitting down. after that i really, really wanted to yell at everyone, EVERYONE.

i really fucking regret everything i did now 0.0, like really. so i went back to class and revised chinese oral. alone. in the dark. how could they even leave me there and expect me NOT to kill myself. well i didnt, or i wouldnt be typing this now. so before i sign off i want to publicly apologise to well... everybody. to name a few.

mrs lee, mdm lee, mdm may lee, mr lim, mrs goh, photographers 1 & 2, mdm teo, cheng lao shi AKA goh lai peng, li lao shi, mrs tay, andrew, tee yong, limin, miao ling, keeve, nic oh, shanisse, jing wei, tze jen (-.-), the entire 6JK generally for fucking ruining their fun shot cos i could not be seen. terribly sorry for all the horrible things i did. :( frigging regret every freaking thing.

hate the sin, not the sinner

how could i apologise
how could i bear to see those eyes
how could i not cry
and how could i not want to love you again

i just need a fucking hug.

-Brad; Muse

in the spring of morning

2008-07-23T19:50:00.002+08:00

God, father art thou in heaven, help me and give me wisdom for Oral Preliminary Examinations tomorrow. thank you. well i just want to elaborate on the past few days and some of the class rumours lol before i start mugging again.

Lacrimosa dies illa

we're all pushing very hard for PSLE, and Prelims so the past couple of days have been quite a rush. ah but its all worth it for you A*. well anyway, lets think about what we can DO after PSLE. for one, i want to organise class outings EVERY WEEK!!!! obviously not everyone can go, and ill probably only go once or twice but surely there would be a day where we are all free and can go ICE SKATING! or BOWLING! sounds good huh, SO GIVE ME A RESPONSE!

Qua resurget ex favilla

well here are some of the class rumours. Limin likes Ashburn. the point here is, LIMIN IS TALLER ALREADY! she cant pair up with ashburn! its just wrong. plus, i believe that we should not be having bgr at 12! i mean seriously, the point is, limin does NOT like ashburn.

Judicandus homo reus.

Aha! if limin doesnt like ashburn, what about the OTHER WAY AROUND?! yeah i guess it could be true. i mean ashburn goes RED in the face and all WORKED UP when we mention her so. yeah its a possibility. hahaha go for it ashburn (and so totally get faced)

Huic ergo parce, Deus,

well this is from limin, she SPECUALATES that miao ling likes justin. cos miao ling was defending justin when they were discussing how vulgar he was? no miao ling that was PROBABLY not your intention. okay the fact is, in the first place i dont think she likes ANY boys. cos well, SHES MIAO LING. second of all, even if she would like a guy, cmon JUSTIN? not only is he short, he is vulgar, immature, and a total blighting prick!

Pie Jesu Domine,

also from limin, justin liking MIAO LING. oh yes a definite posibility. limin claims that the first one to know all his sick jokes are miao ling, (i pity his poor, punched up face now). so yeah ykno it could be possible. horrid.

dona eis requiem.

Okay this one is quite obvious, me liking miao ling. alright we are just FRIENDS already. i dont like her in the totally immature crushing way. and the only reason you SUSPECTED that i do is because i was half blackmailed half paid and mostly forced into saying that i like her. take a bow, take a bow.

Amen.

you see me trying to hide a smile
you know i shouldnt show it
my lips are sealed
but if you listen to my heart
it tells the truth
my lying lips are blasphemed
but my heart betrays me
how id wish
youd listen to it.

-Brad; Muse

let the sleeping rest

2008-07-22T15:44:00.002+08:00

right so i have not posted in like a billion years. sorry all. but at least this will be a long post right, *smiles angelically*. okay first of all, i need to blog about this. i know how to play Musician! it is the most touching song ever, seriously. okay with that over with, lemme post some lyrics, really nice songs.

Mai Hoshimura - Regret

English

The scenery outside the window changes
Even the season leaves me behind
Being closer than anyone, why didn't I realize
That seed of worries at that time?

Before I'm unable to see your figure
I couldn't say just that, just that one phrase of "don't go"

I can never say that it's fine as long as you're happy
I can't help but to hate this twisted heart

The initial ring I received on my birthday
Remembering only makes me painful but
What I finally realized is that I relied
On you more than I thought

As if to even destroy the times spent together
The words that came out contrary to my heart was a good-bye in vain

I'm wishing that a day when you'll greatly regret will come
I hate this mean and ugly heart more than yesterday

I can never say that it's fine as long as you're happy
I can't help but to hate this twisted heart
I'm wishing that a day when you'll greatly regret will come
I hate this mean and ugly heart more than yesterday

its so sad! but i mean its very, very nice.

next up! a story!

Dark Self

As I walked, the wisps of my hair trailed behind me, each step I took blasphemed me into further abyss. Feeling my feet hit the wet floor, I recalled her smiling face, her dark wavy hair, her effervescent spring. My shoulders shook, I forced myself to look down at the floor, but my feet wouldn’t stop. I remembered when she waved good bye; I remembered when she said she would see me tomorrow. I wrapped my arms around myself, but still I shook uncontrollably. I kept on walking.

Drowning in a sea of memories, I remembered how her hand on my shoulder felt; I remembered how she let me run my fingers through her hair. I wanted it to stop, I wanted to shut my mind out, but I could not, I was just along for the ride. Dark buildings were passing me by, dilapidated, crumbling, and dead.

Then I saw her fragile body, lying on the ground, so peacefully. I saw her eyes, rimmed with tears, but still smiling. She told me everybody had to say good bye. But how could she know that her blood was on my knife. I didn’t want it either, but I had to. She put love into my heart. Then, as I walked, tears collected on my chin and spilled onto the ground. I could hear their gentle splashes.

My feet stopped, and I looked up. A shadow loomed. I heard a voice, “It is time.” I looked up, and a flash of an uncontrollable evil grin ran over my face, I suppressed it. But I took out my knife, lined with silver, and polished. It gleamed in the dark light. I started to chuckle uncontrollably. I whispered, “Let’s go.”

The ground I was standing on was slowly being covered by a thin sheet of black shadow. It went over my head, and over the walls of the crumbling buildings. It obscured the light, and you could no longer see my face locked in an insane grin but marred with black tears.

I closed my eyes, as I felt the dark shadow creep across my skin. When I opened them, I was on a bank beside the Thames. A man in a dark cloak glowed brightly in my vision. Without hesitation, I started off toward him. I struggled for control, but my body would not stop, I had a mission to accomplish. I told myself that I did not want this anymore, but my grin only grew wider and wider, until it covered a grotesque portion of my face.

In my right hand, a knife made of pure silver and gold. In my left, a dark energy glowed with an evil intent. I followed the man into an old alley way, I started to laugh, softly at first, but then growing into an insane howl. Now that I could see the man clearly, I saw his face dotted with liver spots, and his beard speckled with white. His black cloak was held together with an antique button. He turned my way, and his eyes narrowed.

I sprinted towards him at amazing speed; I had covered six meters in a bare half second. In the moonlight, I could see myself reflected in the old man’s eyes. My face was contorted into a lopsided insane grin, and my teeth shone a dangerous pure white. My eyes glowed bright gold, and widened in anticipation as I brought my knife to bear.

My right hand was poised in the exact position to strike. Inside I screamed for myself to stop. My arm jerked fractionally, but I held my position. Moonlight flashed off my blade as I brought it down, expecting to hear and meet the sweet sickening sound of flesh tearing. Instead it clanged off a white barrier, I looked once more into the man’s eyes, and there was not a trace of terror in them.

I cursed under my breath, this was just a decoy. He was already trained, but I did not care, I would just have more fun doing it. I jumped back fractionally, and then pelted forwards with a splice step. This time my left hand glowed a bright purple, and it smashed the white barrier in front of me.

The old wrinkled man reacted astonishingly fast; he immediately brought up his right arm to shield himself. But I would not allow him to gather the power needed for another guard spell. I stabbed the blade once, twice, thrice into his abdomen. He leant forward marginally, and spat out blood. I howled with satisfaction.

Then, the shadow retreated from my face. I held the man in my hands, and I started to sob. My shoulders heaved with my body, as the tears rolled off my cheeks. This was what I truly was, a monster.

how was it? like it? comment!

okay so i havent posted about life n stuff n all so ill do that now. so starting from yesterday, it was racial harmony day. and as usual, all our teachers who were chinese were wearing SARONG KABAYAS? whats up with that, arent they supposed to wear cheong sum? but anyway, a few bimbos wore cheong sum top plus jeans, i mean like what is THAT? okay anyway no limin youre not a bimbo lol.

everybody in 6JK wore uniform or PE uniform. hillarious. the principal thinks that its because were all working so harrd. okay to be honest, it takes TWO MINUTES for me to dig up my cheong sum and put it on... okay anyway i wont elaborate on that. so the chinese results came out, andrew topped 6J. miao ling topped 6JK. and i totally need to dig a hole in the ground and hide. BORDERLINE PASS. come on i was expecting a FORTY AT LEAST.

zzz oh yes ive been making sketches and stuff of D.Gray Man's Allen Walker. His arm, his cloak his hand. I must say their quite good. next im going to draw timcampy and crown clown. after that my field is open! so suggestions anyone? anything?

i dream a dream of peace and safety
i dream a dream of danger and adventure
i dream a dream of sadness and grief
i dream a dream of love, and hate

why all i want is to rest between your arms.

-Brad; Muse

The Fako, The Story, and The Darkness

2008-07-07T16:23:00.002+08:00

first of all, im sorry i havent been able to post of late. due to various inconveniencies and such. but limin prompted me so oh well. what you are going to read is a reiteration of a story long past, the names have changed, but the story is the same. and more or less, know that i will never post on the tagboard, NEVER. so that "brad" there, is a faker. FAKO...

The Graveyard Visit.

View Question Essay

The crow nesting on one of the nearby branches shrieked, the sound pierced the air. The dying leaves on the yew tree rustled, and a few brownish leaves slowly descended to the ground. As the wind blew dark brown leaves into the evening sky, the gates rattled, and distant footsteps echoed through the cemetery. Auren closed the gates softly, then continued along the winding foot paths. Grey slabs of stone dotted the cemetery. Buried below them, people long gone.

A cold wind blew Auren's long, dark cloak up, revealing long satin pants, and a dark grey suit. His white silk gloves clasped a dozen stalks of white rose flowers, their misty scent roamed around the cemetery. Slowly the mist started rolling in, and the twilight sky turned to night. Auren continued walking, still searching for what he was looking for. Finally the echoing footsteps stopped. Auren sighed momentarily, and left the path.

Following a route burned into his memory, he stopped at a grave stone. It was in the shape of a cross, and it was mounted on a metal plate. Onto the metal plate it was engraved, "Here rests Mariah Kelly Jones, Mother of Auren Locke Jones, Wife of Jackson Ashley Jones." The grave stone read, "God Bless This Soul". Auren knelt, and delicately placed the roses in front of the grave stone.

A silent tear slid out of Auren's grey eyes, he carefully removed his gloves, and wiped the tear away. He stood up, and put the gloves into his pocket. As he looked down at his scarred hands, he remembered.

Four years, it was just four years ago. It was his birthday, his mother was making scrambeled eggs for him, it was his favourite. Daylight beamed through his tattered blinds as Auren woke up. He opened the creaking driftwood door and went out into the only other room in the house.

His mother was on the floor, and her head rested in a pool of blood. Auren was only eleven then. He ran to his mother, and shook her. He knelt down, and hugged her close. She kept coughing, and the blood kept flowing from her mouth. She still had strength, and she asked Auren to help her up. Auren did as told, and instead of reaching for the phone, Mariah grabbed on to the frying pan, and continued frying the eggs. She smiled painfully at Auren.

Auren yelled at her to stop, she had to stop, and she had to go to the hospital. Mariah refused, she said very tenderly, "Auren, I am dying, I cannot help you anymore." She coughed some more, and more blood spilled out. But she continued," Auren... This is the first time we have an egg, and I won't let it go to waste. Auren this is the last thing I can do for you. Auren please."

All Auren could do was cry in her apron. He cried and cried, and Mariah, still coughing blood, hugged Auren very close. By the time the ambulance arrived, Mariah was on the floor, lying peacefully. Auren had caught her when she died, and placed her gingerly on the floor. Using his own shirt, he dabbed the blood off her mouth, and closed her eyelids. Then, as his mother's last request, he ate the egg, on his eleventh birthday. Since then, the tears would come every night.

Auren knelt beside the grave stone, and kissed it tenderly. "Rest in peace, Mother. I love you, forever." And somehow, every time he visited the grave, the burden in his heart lightened slightly.

i hope you enjoyed that. comment please.

the only thing i could do was watch
and i never could say goodbye
but i never wanted you to leave
come back to me.

-Brad; Muse

remnants.

2008-06-27T15:46:00.002+08:00

there seems to be remnants of everything lying around in the metaphorical dirt these days. scattered, lost, their original form all but shattered. remnants of friendships, family, emotions, people... yes people. Alot of people, seems to have changed, and what is left of them, only remnants. Or maybe it is not they who have changed, maybe it is i. life does that to you.

school is a dull consistency in which we are a driving force and exams are the swamp we have to wade through. not painlessly though. first of all there are lots of test papers, test papers, oh and did i forget to mention test papers? well anyway, on a happy note teachers ARE in fact trying to help us through this. why should they? i mean even if we DO fail PSLE they wont get fired. so thanks, teach's.

another essay i cooked up in fifteen minutes trying to test out "criterion" :p the online teacher for all students. comment please.

It was a spring morning. The dandelions were in full bloom, and their petals were drifting in the wind. I opened my eyes, and a slit of warm sunlight shone brightly through my window across my bed. I sighed and slipped off the bed, and stretched my aching muscles. I looked at my wall clock, nine o'clock, my parents would be gone to work by now.

I sighed slowly as i slipped down the steps to make myself some breakfast. It was a school holiday and after breakfast i decided to get some exercise in the park beside my house. I stepped out of the backdoor and the full bloom of spring greeted me. Lilies, daisies, roses, all manner of flowers seeded in the park gave off scented wafts, attracting bees and insects. The sun shone brighter and the petals glowed brighter in this spring morning.

I pulled on my trainers as I slowly jogged around the circumference of the park. Trees, bushes and flowers greeted me with a happy effervescence. Fellow joggers waved at me with warm smiles, some I knew, some I didn't. The sweet chirping of songbirds singing loudly in the wind embraced me with warm familiarity.

I saw young adolescents spending a happy morning together, in each others arms. I saw a family of picnickers, happily gorging themselves on a blueberry pie. I saw old folks, smiling contentedly and feeding birds, pecking greedily at the ground. However, most of all, I saw young lady, gifted with beauty, pushing a wheelchair inhabited by a grungy old man, his face gorily and gruesomely disfigured by a large gash across the face. I noticed his pant leg swinging limply in the breeze. A gust of wind blew half the pant leg up, and i saw a hideously mangled limb. His calf ended in a shrivelled heap of flesh. Drool was slowly dripping out of his lips, and every time it dropped on his clothes, the young woman took out a tissue, and diligently and patiently wiped it away.

She stopped him at a bench, and laid his food for the morning out for him. I saw her ask him something, and he pointed limply to a bowl of porridge. She smiled warmly and took up the bowl of porridge and the spoon, and started feeding him slowly.

As I finished my jog, I reflected on the woman's strange behaviour. Did she have a job? Who was this man to her? Why does she so lovingly and warmly take care of this old, disfigured and lame old man? I thought about it, and came to a conclusion. I felt only pity for the man, and admiration for the young lady. But the most beautiful thing I saw that day, was the love and affection the young woman gave the old man.

enjoy. :D

when you fall, we will catch you
when you rise, we will rise with you
if youre too tired to go on
we will help you.

-Brad; Muse

School Reopening

2008-06-24T19:45:00.002+08:00

Alright! Schools back in! Woots! Cheers! Boo! Jeer! do whatever you want just dont concern me 0.0 haha joking. alright so, there were a couple of things that did happen to me that is actually worth noticing, unlike some other things that arent worth noticing and somethings that are worth noticing but did not happen to me which makes no sense at all... actually, it makes so much genius sense it makes unusually complicated nonsense! right enough of that.

Throw it away!

well on sunday, church was good, the sermon was.... downright kiddish. cant wait to go youth. SOON, hopefully. and then after that took a good long nap, which is when it happened 0.0

Forget yesterday!

a foggy hand reached into my dream like world, and closed around my throat... NO LAH. my father shook me awake semi concious and with me in that state he dragged me to the car without me being aware of it.

We'll make the great escape!

bleah wish i couldve escaped THIS THING. Next thing i knew i was in the BARBERS chair. yeah we DID argue about going to the barber, i insisted on going to school with my existing hair, WHICH WAS FINE MIND YOU. then you brought me to the barber. Fine! since i did not have my nunchaks i couldnt have killed everybody in there and escaped.

We won't hear a word they say!

they said," apa ini lang chaki..." something in malay lah! damn malay barber. then anyway, since i couldnt escape, i asked the barber for, JUST A TRIM. around the sideburns n ears and the back n stuff. i keep da fringe! well okay, so i was like just dozing off abit, then when i wake up, GUESS WHAT. the barber was smiling like shit and my head was NEARLY BALD. i was like, WHAT THE SHITTING SHIT.

They don't know us anyway!

i bet the guy didnt even know english, grrr. okay so enough of that, getting me super pissed off. So the next thing that happened was, TA-DAA!!! monitorial elections. so what the heck lol. i nominated gideon, gideon nominated.. daryl i think. andrew nominated me, as a joke. and daryl nominated reichern, i think. Then since there were only 3 girls left to choose from mr lim teck huat just took votes. Jing Wei was the monitress, and obviously the monitor was, da- WHA- ME?!

Watch it burn!

yes dear fols, be horrified! be shocked! i am the class monitor... NOW GET OVER IT. SA-DI-A! or whatever.

Let it die!

So recently limin has been posting these reflective and horrifying like un-liminlike post. since some readers out there have no idea who limin is, or what she posted about, ill sumarise. basically limin is feeling very lost and that she fears that when we graduate we will fall out and about all those good times we had with each other. somewhere along those lines yes?

Cause we are finally free tonight!

so id like to tell you, simply. as a class weve been through alot. outings, excursions, bad teachers, good teachers, relief teachers, falling in ponds... :P you know what i mean. and i mean even after we graduate, yeah it will be sad as hell but we'll still keep in touch, ykno maybe get together some time for 'nother outing. stuff like that ykno. and we will see each other ALOT when we come back to nan hua lol. trust me, you WILL miss it. So yeah, haha, 6JK foreva yeah!

Boys like Girls - The Great Escape

when you smile we'll smile with you
when you cry we'll be by your side
when you leave, we'll be with you
in your heart.

-Brad; Muse

Names Names n more Names.

2008-06-18T00:06:00.002+08:00

this is wikipedia's interpretation of, BRADLEY.

Bradley

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
In English, the meaning of the name Bradley from a surname and place name based on the Old English words for broad clearing, broad wood and beard.
It is also an Anglicisation of the Irish Gaelic name O’Brolachán (also O’Brallaghan) from County Tyrone in Northern Ireland. The family moved and spread to counties Londonderry, Donegal and Cork. More recently, Bradley has been used as a Christian name.

So its old english for broad clearing... 0.0 whatever that means. and Bradley originated from the Irish Gaelic name O'Brolachan, or O'Brallaghan, from ireland. well thats intruiging, but never fear, i like the irish!

and heres the disturbing part.

Other uses
Bradley Academy for the Visual Arts, York, Pennsylvania, USA
Bradley Automotive, a maker of kit cars
Bradley Foundation, a conservative non-profit foundation in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Bradley House, a National Trust property in England
Bradley International Airport in Windsor Locks, Connecticut, USA
Bradley Pharmaceuticals in New Jersey, USA
Bradley University, Peoria, Illinois, USA
M2 Bradley and M3 Bradley armored fighting vehicle
The Bradley method of natural childbirth
The Bradley method of bush regeneration
W. C. Bradley Co. in Georgia, USA

Visual arts, fine. Automotive, fairly common. Foundation, non profit, nice organisation that. A trust, see i am trust worthy. International Airport *raises eyebrows* well thats good. Pharmaceuticals... not my area of expertise. University! im honored. M2 bradley and M3 bradley armored fighting vehicles....

*recalls andrew shouting an insult* "YOUR ARMORED TANK IS GOING DOWN THE TUNNEL BRADLEY."

... ROFL ROFL ROFL ...

if you are in 6JK, youd know what that meant.

alright whats next bradley method of bush regeneration. hmm thats interesting. and bradley company.. i hope their environtmentally friendly. oh i seem to have missed one. whats this now. bradley method of natura-

0.0

WTF! OI! WHAT IS THIS! WIKIPEDIA! ROARRR!!!

0.0 method of natural childbirth 0.0 that is just downright weird. i mean it. ah well. thats all for now.

what is a name to me
a name is a face
a name is a person
a name is a heart
a name is just a name.
names.

-Brad; Muse

Birthday Month Quiz.

2008-06-17T13:01:00.003+08:00

Yeah thanks to Limin I have to do this quiz lol. 0.0 if it even is a quiz, enjoy! Btw, anybody can do this.
Birthday – 23rd February
Pick your birth month.
→ Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
→ Bold the five that best apply to you.
→ Copy to your own blog and either link to a post that has all 12 months or copy-paste it all under your result.
→ Tag 5 people from your friends list

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:

Abstract thoughts.
depends what activities im engaging in.

Loves reality and abstract.
i guess, i mean at times yeah, it helps.

Intelligent and clever.
roll all you want, just keep em in their sockets.

Changing personality.
it doesnt exactly change, it sorta... well there are alot of facets.

Attractive.
Er. resonably? tell me what you think.

Sexy.
its not mine to decide.

~~Temperamental.~~
not like some people think...

~~Quiet, shy and humble.~~
try outspoken and in your face. course only when i want lol.

Honest and loyal.
sorta, i have a strong sense of loyalty...

Determined to reach goals.
maybe.

Loves freedom.
Yeah at times.

~~Rebellious when restricted.~~
No i just snarl at them :P and they let me run free

Loves aggressiveness.
Different activities require different approaches. sometimes aggressiveness is required.

~~Too sensitive and easily hurt.~~
its not what youre hurt by, its who.

~~Gets angry really easily but does not show it.~~
contrary to what YOU think.

Dislikes unnecessary things.
i dunno, what do you think?

Loves making friends but rarely shows it.
only if you want to be friends too :P

Daring and stubborn.
At times.

Ambitious.
At times.

Realizes dreams and hopes.
Recently.

Sharp.
not that i show it...

~~Loves entertainment and leisure.~~
i like a challenge

Romantic on the inside not outside.
?! what do YOU think.

~~Superstitious and ludicrous.~~
no...

~~Spendthrift.~~
try thrifty

~~Tries to learn to show emotions.~~
i dont need to learn 0.0 again.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

why isit when you smile
the sun always shines brighter
and when you cry
the rain comes down harder

-Brad; Muse

Birthdays and Fathers Day

2008-06-15T23:53:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! alright i KNOW youre bugging me because you think you had to remind me before i wished you but i had it in my mind the WHOLE day i swear.

and Happy Fathers Day to dad!

this is a really short post. oh yes, good luck to my sister for her production, ANIMAL FARM. ykno that communist PIG thing. her script is 63 pages long 0.0 and shes a pig.

how will i hear your song if you are gone
how will you see my face if i am gone
how will we hold each other if were gone
lets stay.

-Brad; Muse

Muttons at Midnight, Homework, Pictures, Random, Sneak Peaks

2008-06-13T16:29:00.005+08:00

My futile search of devastatingly chio pictures has ended in total failure (note: from the world futile you should have already guessed.) Yeah i had some pics, but none of them were on the dot, what i wanted, so its really sad. I guess one day if i have the time i will create one entirely of my work.

Speaking of "one day if i have time" I DONT HAVE ANYMORE TIME *pouts* lets see how many similies and analogies i can muster up to say this. my workload is more than the mount everest avalanche of 1942. the guiness world record guy who spent 2 weeks buried under a tonne of mud? beat your record pally.... lets put it this way, i have so much homework i cant even think of anymore... oh wait ive got another one, if i threw away all my homework it will fill up the sembawang landfill for the next 10 years. 0.0 you get the idea

so anyway to calm my ragged nerves and soothe my aching spirit i tune in to ... NINE, EIGHT'o SEVEN FM. no honestly its really good. Muttons at Midnight (AKA Justin n Vernon) damn funny can. im serious, okay to prove it to you, ill reiterate one of their funnier song related programs thats on podcast. you ought to crack up at this, 'else you aint human 0.0

Start: (One Republic - Apologise Spoof) normal letters are the song, italics are commentaries.

ehh....ehhhh.... ehhhhh!
mutton what happened to you!
ehh.... pain ah eh!
what happened?!
kenna hammer... i tell you

february fourteenth gonna spend that day alone...
ei but i thot u got girlfriend!
i didnt buy a gift so she broke my collar bone...
AIYO!
she tell me that im stingy, then she go and cut my arm... AWAY!
i tell her that i am sorry but then she kick me to the ground... and SAY!!!
its too late to go and buy! its too late!!!
aiya tell her shop all close lah.
its too late for valentines, im bogay!
aiyo mutton, u very poor thing lah.
(intelligible mutterings)
WHAT?!
yah! i tell you why arh.
she punch me in the mouth now i got no front tooth
yeah look like bugs bunny arh.
i look like mickey mouse cos my ears are like balloons
kids take photo with you larh
she hold me down cover my face now its turning blueee, and she say
you shouldve bought me flowers, shouldve got me diamonds too
now your dead!!
its too late to go and buy, its too late
go seven eleven buy orange juice larh
its too late for valentines, im bogay
thompson got prata, 24/7
its too late to go and buy, eyahhhh
its too late for valentines, when i (something i cant catch)

Second part. (song explanation) normal letters are the actual song, italics are commentaries.

1. James Blunt, Beautiful
okay i think james blunt is gonna start singing soon
really? cannot be what!
yeah, why?
well its-
my life is brillaint
that means he sang at the wrong time, bcos its time to sing yet, now he has to sing all over again, waste time arh.
my life is brilliant
i am very smart
my love is pure
i never do that one before. (refering to sex)
i saw an angel
my house is haunted
of that im sure
im very sure
she smiled at me on the subway
theres someone stalking me on the mrt
she was with another man
shes a chikopeh
but i wont lose out, sleep on that, cos ive got a plan
my mattress very comfortable
your beautiful
your very pretty
your beautiful
your very pretty
your beautiful, its true
i not bluffing
i saw your face, in a crowded place
your also quite fat cos so many people i also can see you
and i dont know what to do
because i had no food
cos ill never be with you
im scared youll eat me
dont dedicate this song larh, dunt larh

DAMN FUNNY CAN. LOL.

alright heres a sneak peak of something im cooking up.

There were four of them, no five, one lurking in the shadows. I could see their faces, their angry sneers lit from the flickering streetlamps way out in the alley entrace. One stepped toward me, his hood hung losely behind his neck, weilding a metal bat, his jeans hung loose from his hips. I waited, fingering the piece in my pocket. Somebody spoke, i assumed it was the man from the shadows. Shit, this might be tricky. "Michael, Michael Michael Michael. What have you been poking your dirty shit ridden nose in this time. Return it Mike, we might just leave you alive for the cops." He stepped out from the shadows. In comparison, he was well dressed, a black leather jacket covered his muscles which bulged under his white undershirt. His jeans were whole, not cut or smeared with mud at any point. I flashed my whitest smile at him, hood still covering my face.

I hardly saw it coming. A flash of silver, then pain, and i was on the ground, rubbing my sore shoulder in which the metal bat had smashed into. I felt around it. Damn, dislocated. Bracing myself agains the dumpster behind me I stood up, and pushed arm and shoulder together, leaning on it. A muted snap, fierece, white hot pain, then i could move my arm again. This time i was careful. I saw his imperceptible change it weight, and frowned. Shit, i cursed again, he was trying to kill me now. His bat came up and over, threatening death as it careened toward my exposed head.

Snarling i rolled forward, and kicked out. My heel caught him sqaurely in the groin. He doubled over in pain, metal bat clanging noisily againsnt the dumpster i had been leaning against. His face was contorted into a mixture of shock, surprise, and utter torture. Before anyone could react, before his hands could even instictively grope his abdomen, i snapped my adidas clasped foot up and clipped him on his chin. He flipped over and landed on his back, unconcious. I in turn, rolled over, and stood up slowly

I licked my lips, and waited for someone else to advance. The speaker nodded his head once, and the rest of them advanced on me. I took stock of my defence. Hoodie, undershirt, and jeans. Good and comfortable for running or exercising, useless that switchblade the multiple pierced punk was carrying. I shrugged to myself, i was just going to have be more careful. The one on the far right was the easiest. His funkadelic hair and his torn up shirt which hung loosely around undeveloped muscles told me he was ripe prey. He was carrying a pathetic lump of wood in hopes of beating me to death, guess again.

Feet scraped gravel, i lunged out. Dimly i was aware of the guy in the middle swishing his kitchen knife at my arm. I twisted away just out of his reach. Funky hair was holding up his pathetic excuse for a weapon as a shield. Coward, i thought. I splintered his useless shield with an elbow jack and whipped his legs out from under him. Metal flashed in the edge of my vision, funky hair will live another day. Spinning out, i caught kitchen knife boy just under the ribcage and jerked my toe up, winding him. A roundhouse kick made him slack on the ground. I faced my next opponent. His head was shaven bald, his eyes showed no signs of mercy. His muscular form bulged under his barely concealed chest. He sneered at me with a jaw that seemed unbreakable no matter how many times you slugged it.

I noticed Leather Jacket on his cell muttering quick fast words impossible for me to catch. I got the gist of it just from his expression. Back Up. Muscles in turn was cornering me to the back alley. Slowly i backed away from him, but he kept on advancing.

"Whoa whoa whoa buddy, you dont want to hurt Mikey boy here do you, dont you?"

He whipped out a pair of nunchaks and whipped one where my head should have been if i had not ducked.

"Guess not."

Snarling, i caught the leather grip and yanked hard. He lost his balance and teetered just slightly forward. All the opening i needed. I juked forward, advoiding his lunging grasps. Finally i got close enough. With a two fingered jap to his throat i rendered him speechless, if he could speak in the first place, and paralysed for a milisecond. I grabbed one fleshy arm and wrung it over my chest, and pinned it against his back. Ducking under his legs, twisted his wrist over his neck. I heard his howl of pain, and relished it.

I heard feet hitting the pavement, lots of them. I cursed again under my breath. With a two handed blow to the back of his neck i left Muscles unconcious. Meanwhile Leather Jacket guy was busy ordering squads of hoodies to assail me. I looked for a means of escape. Inspiration struck me.

I rolled the huge dumpster toward the opposing street fighters. This bought me some time. I huffed, this was going to be tough. Leaping as for as i could, i groped for the lightbulb above the back alley doorway. I had it. I could tell the outlet would not hold for long. I swung my body like a pendulum across the two meter high brick wall that was impossible to climb. Finally i caught hold of the fence above the wall. I leaped up several footholds at a time. The fence was at least six meters high above the already tall two meter wall. It was as tall as the buildings it connected. I reached the top and groaned. Spikes, should have seen them earlier.

I felt something pelt my arm. Great, their throwing rocks at me now. I steadied myself. Swinging myself back and forth on the same footholds, i gained momentum. I flung myself as close as i dared to the spikes, and vaulted over the fence. Only to be greeted by an eight meter drop, the ground hurtling toward me at what seemed to be a billion miles an hour. My lifeless body would have smashed against the gravel on the other side. Bones broken in every part of my body. If my hood had not snagged the life threatening spikes that could have killed me. Oh, behold the irony.

I gained a steady foot hold and unsnagged myself. I leaped down at record speed. Already i could see Leather Jacket ordering his lackeys to the other side of the street. With the lightbulb outlet all but hanging by wires the only way was around, I had eight minutes, tops. My soles hit the ground lithely. I sprinted across the night street, toward back alleys and streets only i and few others knew. Free.

Liked it? comment!

the night sky, so beautiful
the stars, glowing like open chasms of light
the moon, pockmarked surface so stunning
isnt it sheer irony, that only in the darkness we can see these things?

-Brad; Muse

Paramore n Hayley

2008-06-12T16:25:00.009+08:00

i think this is my fav one. the eyebrows, their really cute.

Right so, everbody loves paramore yeah? yes? alright give it up! WHOOTTS!!! okay enough of that. So some of my personal favourites are, Thats What You Get by Paramore. Yep i know its great, and Pressure by Paramore. and last but not least, Misery Business by Paramore. Interesting init. Three of them. Alright their riffs are extremely well timed. Tempo is good, and vocalist Hayley Williams is a REALLY good singer.

tension! yeah shes cute.

And up till now i havent realised it but, dont you think Hayley is hot? i mean really? SERIOUSLY. take a look at this.

grey eyes? woots. no i really think shes awfully cute

Dont you think shes cute? i mean they way she acts n stuff. 0.0 i better not be crushing on her... alright so heres the rest of the pics. Courtesy of Paramore Inc. Music Videos.

niceee.

blue, the colour of the sky, the colour of your eyes

red, the colour of the rose, the colour of your hair

yellow, the colour of the sun, the colour of your smile

white, the colour of the clouds, the colour of your skin

-Brad; Muse

Pics o' you me him her ...bleah

2008-06-12T15:07:00.011+08:00

So this is neoprints from the outing, their really small so the quality isnt very good. Im the guy in the black tee and overshirt.

Foreva Friends, with the pretty stars.

(im the one at the bottom, the LOWEST)

a'ight this time because of the haphazard timing i was trying to get to the BACK cos everyone was stepping on my shirt, then it took so somebody yanked me into the frame thats why im totally obscuring gabriel.

this one is better im at the top left hand corner.

hope you enjoyed (i know the quality sucks)

because i knew

because i acted

because i felt

because of you.

-Brad; Muse

Dreams and Reality

2008-06-11T23:43:00.004+08:00

I had this really weird thought about dreams today. and on the most part it is because ive been dreaming weirdly these months. i had asked myself, are dreams really just, dreams? nothing but figments of our imagination? or as some scientists might describe, a firing of a neutron, racing one to another, until it forms a conceivable pattern, but wholly random.

So to understand this, i'm going to tell you about some seemingly random dreams, but they follow a pattern. bytheway, these are all my dreams.

dream one.

i was being followed. by who, or what, i could not comprehend. i raced against time, trying desperately to get to the shore, where the warm water offered me safety, and protection. how i knew, i dont know, but i know that i felt the feeling in my bones.

ive made it, the sun screams down over the horizon, blinding me. but i would not stop, i make a mad dash for the inviting water, but my legs splayed out behind me, i was caught. I could feel them, sucking me away into the abyss. But i would not give up, i trashed repeatedly, and finally escaped their clenches.

i sink into the warm water, oblivious, and wholly unprepared. i let my subconciousness take over, and let go. everything is dark.

dream two.

a continuation from the previous dream. i felt dragged, and heaved out of a soapy liquid. it flowed over my, drenching my clothes. for the first time, i could see what i was wearing. a blurry image of black jeans and a plain top. i saw who was dredging me out of the sea. A woman, it seemed, she had a smile of knowledge. Her face i could not remember, but i saw it vividly at the time, but now its lost and sunken in the trove of my mind.

she was fairly young, and i remember, fairly beautiful, though not to the point of stunning. she could not be much older than seventeen. i had no idea what i was doing, or why i was here, but i could feel, i could see that i was probably badly mauled. injured by the sudden spurns of the sea. my arms were horrifyingly injured as if in a nightmare, wounds split open and lumps showing infection. my legs, though i could not see them at the time, was probably worse. first my left arm recovered, under a certain, uncalculable period of time. then my right, slowly though. i do remember the woman, unamed, at my side most of the time.

as i woke up from my uncertain recovery though, in which i was half concious most of the time, i remember looking up to the young woman, and smiling, she smiled back. and that was all i could remember before i sank back into unconciousness.

dream three.

a certain continuation of the last two dreams, though not quite. I remember standing in a huge marketplace, with many locals milling about, selling and buying. and i remember an important task, that i had to accomplish. even more obliquely, was the young woman i had met earlier, she was with me, and i felt rather than knew that she would help me complete whatever tasks i had set out to do.

what the tasks were, i knew, but now they were lost to the immense volumes of paradoxes and twisting arithmatic was of my mind. i do remember that there were a certain number of them, each at different places. i had ranged to many places, one of which i remember quite distinctly as a sort of a stadium, what i was set to do there i have no idea at this point of time.

i remember it distinctly because it was the last task i had set out to do, and more importantly, the young woman was not with me. she had been with me every other step of the way, but i distinctly remember her going away to do something very important, though not without risk. in a weird sense of a way i felt a certain longing, or a sense of loss, for that young woman. whatever it is, i never got to see her again. i completed the last task, then remember dying, and falling into oblivion. at this point i woke up.

this story unfolds rather erratically, but its meaning, is hiddin within the depths of the story itself. so is this dream just a firing of neurons? or a random erratic activity of the brain? before i attempt to answer these i must follow through with one, last dream.

dream four.

i remember a prison. not the modern type. but a sort like a gilded cage. a place we can roam about, eat. but held captives, by some hidden, upper force. who are we? we are a random lot of people. myself, i remember it from a first person view. my father, in the dream he was nothing like my present, real life father. he was a sort of nomad, adept and skilled in the ways of survival. i remember him vividly, because he was a key figure in what would happen next. he was rugged, yet held a cheerful spirit around him.

among us was friends, and some family. we probably could not be called family, by blood. but by a certain sort of tie, forged by uncertain circumstances. and this tie, was forced under duress, when the upper, hidden force, began to exert pressure on our small community. we worked harder, but the days became longer. soon we longed for escape.

my father, apparently was at the spearpoint of the escape. he spearheaded the idea, and led the escape. the actualy escape eluded me, time and time again, while i dived into the plethora of dreams and thoughts. but we had escaped, and started new lives.

but not without a price. my father, he had been captured, and again, i felt a sense of longing, a sense of profound, unrequited loss. like the last time. i had not really known my father, nor the young woman. but they represented something, something important in my life, that in itself, is part of the meaning of the dreams.

so are dreams an erratic activity of eletrical pulses? i dont believe that. i believe that dreams come from the mind, and the soul, and the heart. so, as i was thinking about my dreams. and suddenly it hit me. what if these dreams, these dreams were premonitions? or, guides maybe? it could be any number of things. but the meaning of it, the POSSIBILITY of the meaning of it, struck me with full force.

the first three dreams, continuous. could it be that i wanted to break out, of my aclove? of my place now, to do great things? like the tasks set before me. could those injuries, be signs of difficulties, but i will overcome with... help? in the second and fourth dreams. i had help didnt i? that help, it can come in many ways. but there was a certain person, and certain someone that helped me along, that i could it be, loved?

and that person, whoever he or she is, helped me with my task, in the third dream. until the final one, in which i succeeded, but ended too. and the fourth dream, i set out and found my place in the world. could this mean that i could break out of my bonds, and find my place in the world, and complete the tasks that i was born to do? maybe. i hope

Father Lord art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. i pray to you to guide me, and to shape me in your loving hands. thank you lord. amen.

i sing a song of beauty, that floats languid in the mist
i sing a song of love, that skims gently above the water
the perfect notes, they come around me
the music of the world, everywhere, only you can hear it
if you believe.

-Brad; Muse

Da Music Quiz

2008-06-11T00:48:00.004+08:00

Quiz time!, courtesy of cuimin :P Ykno that cute little girl from 6F'07... FINE YOUR NOT THAT LITTLE. still cute tho. and i got her to play the songs for me too lol. ENJOY.

MUSIC:
1. Put your music player on all your music, then shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING! 4. Tag 3 people.
5. with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

1. HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
pocketful of sunshine - natasha bedingfield
that is so off...

2. WILL YOU GET FAR IN LIFE?
rush- aly and aj
yes? no? idk? whatever it is its rushed

3. HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOU?
take a bow - rihanna
take a bow gracefully? im graceful? or take a bow and shoot you? murderous?

4. WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
shut up - simple plan
is that like shut up, no. or shut UP! yes?

5. WHAT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND'S THEME SONG?
labels or love - fergie
okay....

6. WHAT IS THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE?
its not over - chris daughtry
DUH! ITS SO NOT OVER.

7. WHAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL LIKE?
get up - ciara
i... got up?

8. HOW CAN YOU GET AHEAD OF LIFE?
7 things - miley cirus
WHAT SEVEN THINGS?!?!?!

9. WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?
stranger - hilary duff
their strangers? NO. hilary duff is my friend? HELL YES!

10. WHATS IN STORE THIS WEEKEND?
because of you - ne yo
i shall never get this.

11. TO DESCRIBE YOUR GRANDPARENTS?
runaway love - ludacris ft mary j blihe
awww divorce

12. HOW IS YOUR LIFE GOING?
say goodbye - chris brown
WTF?! WTF?!?!?! SHIT!

13. WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
happy birthday - click five
shit, i died on my birthday. damn.

14. HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE YOU?
disenchanted - my chemical romance
im disenchanted? now thats just wrong.

15. WILL YOU HAVE A HAPPY LIFE?
hollabackgirl - gwen stafani
Oooh... i will not elaborate.

16. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS REALLY THINK OF YOU?
fergalicious - fergie
I AM SO, NOT, FERGALICIOUS.

17. DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER YOU?
your guardian angel - redjumpsuitapparatus
one, i take it, my guardian angel.

18. HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?
girlfriend - avril lavigne
OMG NO LOL. maybe. BUT NOT NOW.

19. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?
hypnotised - akon
i should hypnotise myself? i should work as a hypnotiser. wtf does that mean?

20. WILL YOU EVER HAVE CHILDREN?
just so you know - jesse mccartney
just so i know... its a girl? its a boy? WHAT?!

21. WHAT SONG WOULD YOU STRIP TO?
bleed it out - linkin park
no, effing. WAY.

22. IF A MAN IN A VAN OFFERED YOU CANDY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
goodbye to you - michelle branch
YEAH BABY, GOODBYE TO YOU.

23. WHAT DOES YOUR MUM THINK OF YOU?
wordplay - jason mraz
yeh, im good at words. that is so true.

24. WHAT IS YOUR DEEP DARK SECRET?
teardrops on my guitar - taylor swift
damn this is is true.

25. WHAT IS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY'S THEME SONG?
i kissed a girl - katy perry
what does THAT mean.

26. WHAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE?
last christmas - ashley tisdale
my personality is like last christmas... cheery i guess, happy?

27. WHAT SONG WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR WEDDING?
breathless - shayne ward!
yes we'd all be breatheless now wouldnt we.

and END! hoped you liked it.

anyone can do!

in the night, when the stars shine
the moon, a half filled bowl
so peaceful, so calm, so quiet
in the night.

-Brad; Muse

A Walk To Remember

2008-06-05T15:27:00.006+08:00

this is for you

-a walk to remember "your guardian angel"

everytime, everytime i cried
everytime, everytime i sobbed
you told me you would be there, you never lied
you told me youd always be a friend, never sod

as the moon grew, you stayed
then the sun went down
you came back tomorrow, never delayed
to me, you always had my hearts crown

but now, when you cry
the tears down your sweet face
why dont you let me try
why do you run, can i even chase

cant you let me near, cant you let me in
why do you shy away from me
promise me youll stay in
promise me youll never go away from me

open your arms, open your heart
you can rest your head against my shoulder
you can let your tears run part
ill never go, ill stay here, older'n older

because you were there because of me
because you never gave up
because you loved me, and i do too
because when you look into my eyes
nothing matters, except you

when you turn your head
and your hair falls into sparkles
when you look at me and smile
and my whole world brightens

dont leave it all to waste
dont throw it all away
dont leave me here, alone
dont go and waste your life

i know youre going soon
i know im hurt, i know i will grieve
but its alright, because as long as
i love you, and you do too
we can never be seperated
in our hearts, always

and everything will be, perfect.

~in honor of A Walk To Remember, a story that touched my heart

P.S. the poem isnt about me, its about the STORY, a walk to remember

-Brad; Muse

Fall For You, all over again

2008-06-03T21:47:00.004+08:00

Alright so, ive been getting qutie a few comments about my poems, some of them are encouraging, definitely. Some of them are praise. But a few really intruiged me. They asked, why do you write poems about love? or as some say. emoness. One asked, why do you and nic oh write songs about love. while none of the "mainstreamers" do.

the best thing about tonight is that were not fighting

So ive decided to answer your questions, painstakingly lol. well to start it off, i am going to talk about some of the poems Nicholas Oh, or Shanisse, or any other one of my classmates write, well you might say about "love".

Could it be that we have been this way before

First of all, nicholas ohs poems. Different people, i admit, have different styles in writing poems. I believe that nic ohs style is very raw, potential yes, but undeveloped. The poem he wrote about, scroll down abit and youd see it. Or as its labelled "The Girl". Its about shanisse, another classmate of mine. You see he had this crush on her, but then she hated him to the core, and blah blah blah. The usual okay.

I know you don't think that I am trying, I know you're wearing thin down to the core

So you see, from this... experience, he spun his very raw feelings around the words, and then he formed the poem. Id like to correct you, it is nothing about love. He has never tasted the sweet nectar of love, never heard the birdcalls of love, never seen the sweetness of love. Not one of them. He doesnt know, even remotely, what love is. At this point of time, you laugh and jeer and say, "Oooh bradley the know-it-all, thinking he knows everything about 'love', pfft" yes thats probably whats going through your mind right now, somewhere of the likes.

But hold your breath, Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you -over again

But to tell you the honest truth, ive never done any one of those things either, about love i mean. So i dont know, exactly at least, what it is. Or maybe i do, if you know me well enough, i leave you to make your own decision. The point is ive never really fallen in love before, truly, loved. And i know that, because... the dynamics of it will be too dificult to explain. Just take it that i havent truly loved, but i know this because i know whats true love, in another sense.

Don't make me change my mind, Or I wont live to see another day

Shanisse doesnt know love either, her poems are spun out of emotion, more refined i would say, but untamed. My point here is, they dont write poems about love, they write poems about their emotions, and their lives, just a tiny bit of it, like a window. So if youd be careful enough, peer into those windows, and youd see, for once.

I swear it's true, Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Now about me. If you truly dont know me, or if you think you do, but you really dont, then tread carefully. If you know me, if you have seen me, for who i am. Then i welcome you. By the way, everyone of you, you might find this abit interesting. You see, writing, isnt just words on a piece of paper, but you already know that dont you?

Your impossible to find

Writing, i believe at least, is a representation of ones self, ones souls, ones essence. It is like a window into our lives. A window of who we truly are. How we behave, how we talk in everyday doings, you cant really tell by that, can you. Youd know, if you were observant enough. You really have to go INTERACT with someone to really know him or her. So in the process of writing a poem. I infuse my emotions, my thoughts, my essence, myself into the poem. So you can see, if you are observant enough of course.

This is not what I intended, I always swore to you i'd never fall apart

Now i hope that has answered your question. Simply, we do not write about love, they write about their emotions probably, maybe a furthur away from them. But my poems, they are like sisters, or brothers to me, metaphorically of course. because, well part of me are my poems, just in another form. Interesting init.

You always thought that, I was strongerI may of failed

So i mean if you choose to believe what i say, then very well for you, if you dont, im not insisiting you confer to my ways like some idiotic NAZI. Just, keep your eyes open, hopefully :D. Next im going to talk about another thing that i have touched on, but not really gone into deeply, you might have guessed, love.

But I have loved you from the start

This is a rather short synopsis on "love" but it will have to do, im no specialist. I believe love is not just an emotion, or a thought, or a word. It is, in fact i believe, part of ourselves, our souls, our essences. You look at a man and you might think, well he cant love, because his face looks stone cold. You forget that as a baby everybody is cute and chubby. :D. My point here is love is always present there, just that as we grow, some grow to hide it, deep beneath layers of hate, and another negative emotions. Some grow to live with it, in harmony, to take it as a friend, a confidant, they live quite nicely. But they live on a knife edge, they could fall off at any moment, either side. Others, well they take love to their lives edge, they let it drive them, make them. That isnt exactly good either. So i hope this has been as interesting and as informative as everything else.

Secondhand Serenade - Fall For You

I see you, your shadow under the light
then i see the tears, streaming
down your face, contorted
you crumbled into my arms

you pressed your soft head against my arm
warm, light tears
stroking your head, softly, slowly
its alright, everything will be just

alright.

-Brad; Muse

The Merlion, The Nic Oh and The Poem

2008-06-02T10:46:00.003+08:00

Alright we have just completed the nasty merlion thing with five (damnable rainbow coloured) thousand bricks! Wonderful. and it looks like a hog. Well another thing, we have just made an amazing discover about our dear friend here (not) Nic Oh, ANYTHING HE TOUCHES TURNS TO DUST.

not quite. anything he touches that is LEGO breaks and shatters into tiny ... tiny... lego pieces. which btw, arent very tiny. but that isnt the point. World War 3, Nic oh is singapores best secret weapon.

Anonymous would you shut ALL your gas traps. any sensible person would have long abondoned your futile existence. now scurry along like good little (shats) bitches. ive really had ENOUGH of all your meaningless scurryless little... things.

I SHALL REPLY YOUR WONDROUS TAGS!

Siew: Nic Oh doesnt HAVE skills. he has dreams. dreams never come true *bitterly*
Shan: Course my poem is authentic. POSTED
Nic Oh: I probably dont think im the best, but i do think you have alot of work cut out for you.
Cherie: im not... QUITE sure who you are lol. But i know you are my sista's mate or CCA junkie or classmate or something, LOL. but thanks for rightly whooping their asses. and no i dont go for those cliche things like TAG PLEASE. cos they dont really work.

you never did want to do it
you always said, you always promised
youd never do it
but you had no choice
did you.

the tears, they were warm
agaisnt your cheek, onto my arm
i shouldve told you not to cry
but how could i, when i too
cried.

you had to go, you had to leave
you had to say sorry
you had to say goodbye
i watched you go, slowly
again.

-Brad; Muse

The Strike

2008-05-31T11:29:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not posting for so long, Ive been quite busy ad i havent had the time to post anyway. And i had to post because there was something awfully shocking that just happened. but first i have to post about the science centre and the learn 1 (degree) N thing lol.

Okay so cos like we signed up for this competition larh, about global warming and all that crap. Then umm last wednesday mdm teo brought us to the science centre to do the competition. then we were like running everywhere lol, it was freaking fun.

Then after that we were bugging mdm teo to buy us lunch! obviously she wasnt supposed to but.. well we decided to push our luck lol. So in the end she bought us sundaes! see she so nice right. but she bought a mcspicy for herself *growls*

alright so like the holidays are really, really boring. Then on thursday, after our non-holiday holiday lessons, six of us plus one went to the computer lab for our Build-a-brick competition thing. Stupid me, i chose a MERLION. so its like frigging hard to build can!

But we ended up building only half and leaving the other half "submerged" in the water, hahaha, pure genius. On Kum Chee Fai's part of course. So all thats left now is the MANE of the MERLION. and thats on monday.

Ah yes. a few minutes ago i got struck by lightning. 0.0

ALRIGHT SO MAYBE I DIDNT. but my house did. It was kinda shocking cos i was talking to ningxin on msn, then i was reading and doing my hw at the same time (yes MOTHER i can multitask). Then, right before it happened, it felt strange, like the world just STOPPED for a split second. Then i knew something was going to happen. A nano second later i swear i saw the lightning crash around my window. Luckily we had like a lightning pole on top larh. Budden my whole computer winked out, just like that.

The immense surge of electricity from the low altitude magnum lightning bolt caused a magnitude of electrical volts to surge through the circuits and then into the transformer. The transformer blew then shortcircuited everything in a 1 km radius. :D. at least i think thats what happened. But dad went to flip a couple of switches, backups i think, then everything came on again. Yay for that.

So THAT was weird lol. Oh yes by the way please please please respond to either limin or me via email about the class outing, please come, itll be damn fun :D.

you look at me with those eyes
i can see them, brimming with tears
never, i cried, never
but you insisted, you insisted
i hadnt a choice
then you werent the only one with tears
you twisted the knife, that one
in my heart.

-Brad; Muse

Happenings

2008-05-25T21:26:00.004+08:00

anonymous, shut up.

ahahaha. received an email from limin yesterday, said someone wanna go outing. Like omg to think of it i also wanna go leh. So much fun lol. Could go movies n everything. Ahhh too bad the seniors taking their damned 200 bucks for their OWN chalet. *glares at them* nvm bah! can take from previous years, hahahaha.

And mdm teo, was teaching us about evolution (thanks for reminding me shanisse) so i raised my hand, EVER so innocently, and asked, "but evolution is not a proven theory." now, see when i poised this, i did not even in the SLIGHTEST inclination mention christ. I AM a christian, and i AM a creationist, but i was merely stating the fact that evolution was NOT a proven theory! why did every person in the room have to go into a controversy about CHRISTIANTY and GOD and EVOLUTION and for goodness sakes CHARLES DARWIN. i honestly felt like yelling after all of them to SHUT UP. and for good mesure at that.

course even though i didnt do it, mdm teo did it anyway! so applauds for her! well i didnt dare open my mouth to explain again cos i was unsure if the class would erupt in civil war again! but anyways, mdm teo went on about even though evolution was not proven it cant be invalid until proven otherwise and blah blah blah. so anyways, thats not really true you know. because like, she quoted evidence from stating if pluto, was indeed a planet. you see, the FACTS before us did not change, we knew of EVIDENCE of pluto, it was only out MINDSETS and CRITERIONS that changed. So, *shrugs* that really isnt a valid example.

And look at it this way STRING THEORY. in all bloody sense its mathematically, scientifically and physically correct! yet it isnt excepted by the general theory, why? because we cant go that small! so theres no proof! no one can prove it otherwise too but thats not the point. the point is that evolution, has no proof! it in itself, is just a theory, not even a scientific fact! so mdm teo, i completely and vehemently disagree with you.

but i do not disagree on the teaching of evolution. you see even though it isnt a proven theory, and i still abhorently and irrevocably disagree with it, it is still a theory! and a theory worth investigating and learning about. so go long mdm teo! for i support you! and ykno what, maybe i WILL discover the truth behind evolution, proving it entirely wrong! hahaha.

disclaimer: i am totally, whole heartedly, mind, heart and soul, devoted to god. i am a creationist, i believe god created the earth. i trust god, i put my faith in him and i love him. do NOT think otherwise. but im not going to let my religious beliefs interfere with my studies! i will take everything i learn objectively!

in the beginning...Amen. *smiles contentedly*

ah yes, nic ohs horrendus blasphemy of a poem.

The Girl
I clambered up the bus
Sweaty; Hot; Flustered
Threw myself against a corner of the bus
Reflecting on the things that I did that day
Then suddenly, out of the blue
I saw her.
The distinct face appeared so familiar
But yet so heart-wrenching
Her fringe hair was fluttering in the warm wind
She was wearing a solemn smile
As she walked against the pavement
Sun beams shining down on her
She looked so beautiful
In the eyes;
In the heart
I found a warmth of some sort in my heart
Then realised what it was.
The power of love.
I still loved her
After what we have been through
So much; it left me in pain
It made me lose some of my friends
My brain was screaming at me to detest her
But deep down in my heart
I still loved her
After so much.
So much.

first of all nic oh, stop frigging talking about shanisse. its frigging irritating to you, us and her. so ffrigging STOP. second of all, your poem is a earful to read and even more to read aloud. a poem, is an expression i believe, an expression of ones thoughts, emotions, and soul. it impresses those in the words, the flow, the ESSENCE of the poem. without essence, there is nothing. not only in a poem, in a tree, in the sky, in the ocean, in US. essence, is life.

Now nic ohs poem is like jagged, mountainous landscape, ruination, fell and chops around. horrendus i say. even if someone WISHES to potray that landscape, it would be in more style. first of all your lines, their too raw! like your speaking. you cant speak a poem! you write it, your compose it, you FORM it. for beginners, think of the words you want to say, raw in form. then find suitables, synonyms, little abhorences. then use them, shape them, treat them! dont use the same name/word/identity more than a few times

let your emotions flow, your thoughts, dont THINK about it, FEEL it, listen to it, be it. thats what the essence of the poem is about, your essence, the poems essence, their together, like twins. dont be seperated. i know its confusing and alot to absorb at once, and this is just a tiny, impossibly atomically fraction you must understand. Try to understand, feel it.

heres an example.

Spring, the green of the life
life, grows and spreads, keening
its light, effervescent, blissful
happiness reigns and prospers

Summer, its heat blistering down
survival, pouring over the land, seeds
the water cool and inviting, good for now
we look on to worser days

Autumn, beautiful but destructive
barren trees, yellows reds and browns
children playing in the bounties
men looking at the sky, waiting for...

Winter, so cold, so cold
the whiteness so pure, but so dangerous
the ice stings, burns at my toes
I wait, i wait for the spring.

-Brad; Muse

Predictable

2008-05-24T13:49:00.002+08:00

uneventful.

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable

-Good Charlotte, Predictable

death doesnt write love songs. dancing with a neon lightbulb.

where were you when i hurt
why did you be so curt
were were you when i cried
i could tell you lied
it doesnt matter any more
i am here.

-Brad; Muse

anonymous replies

2008-05-22T20:20:00.002+08:00

anonymous. im getting quite sick of you. i mean the one who keeps calling me an emo freak. well because. youre a load of crap. ive been trying to restrain the overwhelming urge to flame you, and now im just gonna tell you exactly what i think of you because im starting to get pissed off.

first of all, who the hell do you think you are. youre so insignificant, so childish. you think i really bother about you? just wipe your dirty ass off my tagboard. you think the world revolves around you? DEH! WRONG.

and by the way, unlike SOME people who has NO LIFE and comes to flame me on my own tagboard, i DO HAVE A LIFE. so why dont you shut the hell up, and go brush up on your irrevocably horrendus spelling.

and dont you know? love is blind. hahahahaha. but thats not the point. the point is well im not the one with a GUY problem yes. you have no idea how fucking stupidly childish you look, im not even going to bother anymore.

i got 7th for my one point six. thank you lord, thank you. Amen.

your beautiful eyes
they find me
in the dark
your twinkling eyes
they pierce me
in the light
your eyes.

-Brad; Muse

NHPS Jumble, Pain

2008-05-19T10:53:00.005+08:00

sundays jumble sale sucked. sorry to say but it did. it was quite boring if you asked me. and no one was doing anything useful. this is going to be a short post.

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy

Third Day, Call My Name rocks! it sounds damn nice. subtle, influential, but still powerful and impacting. Aww poetry in motion. Thanks Ashland! Dont worry gal youre gonna rock :D And hurry up and come back from that AWESOME lake country youre going to and send me that demo CD! Btw, praying that the flu will go away fast yeah, keep smiling :D

One look puts the rhythm in my hand

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down, just driving my crazy :P Good song, go listen to it peeps.

Still I'll never understand why you hang around

Taggy Reply Time

anonymous: dont worry about it, alot of people do that
limin: YES FINE. im not ego btw :D
yuhan: err, the anonying one or the cute one? im kinda hoping the cute one LOL

I see what's going down.

now if you have absolutely no idea what limin was talking about, cos i deleted that part, lets just say that somene was rejoicing that i left early for the jumble dazzle. yeah but honestly it didnt make it much funner did it. Who knows i mightve made it more interesting :P *chuckles*

Cover up with make up in the mirror

Alright now im very irritated cos for the second time today ive jabbed my elbow on the computer corner. Fine, sista if your reading this youll know my plight yeah. Alright in short im gonna try to explain to ya'll folks out there my problem.

Cover up with make up in the mirror

See, im obviously using a desktop, and the screen is on a COMPUTER table. and right beside the seat where you type and look at the screen and stuff, is the CPU. This is an almost antique VERY angular CPU. I like the sleeker, SMOOTHER types if you ask me. Well anyway you see, a very, very sharp corner of the CPU is pointing in the keyboards direction... and when youre typing, your arm sorta gets in between the keyboard and the CPU and then you retract your arm and...

Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again

BAM! Ow it hurts. 'Specially cos theres a nerve cluster at the back of your elbow. You see not only does it hurt, its like tangles of electricy up your arm. so ouch.

You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Love going to church. :D Nice people.

always waiting, always hoping
never looking, never seeing
i believed, and now what
believe.

-Brad; Muse

anonymous replies

2008-05-18T07:46:00.004+08:00

anonymous. alright i dont want to get into an argument with you. but first of all...

<anonymous>: okayyy. i see your point. but then again, i don't think you study in nh - do you? because you would see how bradley treats most of the student population. i'm juz trying to tell him that he got that kind of treatment because of his actions.

<anonymous>: the kind of treatment he usually talks about on his blog. im trying to explain to him because he evidently doesn't know that.

she has a REAL big point. one that YOU should note. and no she doesnt study in NH. now how do i treat most of the student population. who are you to make that judgement. are you around me all of the time im around my friends? no because i know who you are. what kind of treatment did i get. if youre reffering to the treatment i get from YOU people then you can forget your point altogether. because the kind of treatment i WAS talking about in my earlier post was from NONE of you okay, NONE. you have no idea what im reffering to, you dont even know me that well. and btw, anonymous, i dont USUALLY talk about it on my blog. and no youre doing no good explaining it because evidently YOU dont know that.

FYI, im getting along just fine and dandy with *most of the student population* thank you very much.

dont make assumptions about me then try to flame me. because it just makes you look stupid. are you totally BLIND to the world around you? can you go care about your own problems for once and not go tell others about THEIR *nonexistent* PROBLEMS. seriously. because most of the shit your finding yourself in now has got nothing to do with me, live with it.

anonymous22 who are you :P

if ive never seen your eyes
if ive never seen your smile
if ive never head your voice
i would still love you.

-Brad; Muse

Reply; Anonymous

2008-05-17T08:22:00.002+08:00

Heyyy, the most amazing thing happene- uhh wait. whats that? *points to tagboard* okay im gonna copy out what umm, anonymous said, so that you guys dont have to read everything.

<anonymous>: screw life, babe. one thing though. you wanta be a jerk, be a true jerk. dunt be a half half

<anonymous>: being a half half and killin' urself over every single crap is plain dumb.

<anonymous>: anyways, you aren't nice at all. you are mean. it doesn't matter if you kick yourself up. no one cares. they only know u are a bastard. ok u may b smart and mature and all but you are an idiot. in this matter. think about it. who knows

<anonymous>: that you actually really regret your actions? no one. they only see you acting like an emo freak. not to mention, you speak weird. another thing, you make them feel pissed. you think they'll like you? you don't need common sense to know that.

<anonymous>: i'll give you some tips. for example you can be more sensitive. dont act so iknowitall. everyone can be smart but the smartest don't be stupid and show it because they know they will look like idiots. so they be average. ok this isn't some lecture.

<anonymous>: but im trying to fill up your tagboard or chatterbox or something. but anyway, listen to me if you wanta. you don't, your loss. i'll end this... although the box isn't filled yet. i think.

well first anonymous, although COME ON ITS QUITE OBVIOUS WHO YOU ARE. but ill keep quiet, for now *grins*. First, thank you for your very plaintively constructive comments. Second, babe? now thats interesting :P

well okay, for your first two comments. im not a jerk at all. maybe you didnt read it right the first time, but jerks arent defined by what they do on the outside, but what they want to do, and what they are planning to do, on the inside. I make mistakes, everybody does, but you cant condemn someone just because they made that mistake, because thats just not fair. So you may think im a jerk, but if youd really cared to look carefully, im really not.

and as for your third message, its really your opinion if you want to think if im nice or if im mean, i dont want to say anything to defend myself because i know my actions will speak louder than my words. and i dont beat myself up, or kick myself up, or kill myself over anything. i dont expect anyone to care if i do, which i dont. if you think i do, all i want to tell you is to look carefully at who i am, and who you are. as for the bastard part, everybody has a bad side. what defines us is what we do with that bad side. And yes, i admit it, sometimes im an idiot. a complete and total idiot. but like i said, everybody makes mistakes. especially when their growing up, its because if you dont make mistakes while youre growing up, youll never find out who you really are, because its what makes you. mistakes are important.

whats really important, is to LEARN from those mistakes. those are lessons ill never forget.

Regret is only for a person, anonymous. not for anyone else to see. if you regret your actions, GOOD! so you know you wont ever do something like that again. its not to gain pity, its for yourself to realise. and as for speaking weird. i dont think i do. tho my voice is like... going funny on me. but anyways i dont think i do.

and come on, just cos like a guy on the street has a french accent, you automatically get pissed at him? its just not right.

as for this: <anonymous>: i'll give you some tips. for example you can be more sensitive. dont act so iknowitall. everyone can be smart but the smartest don't be stupid and show it because they know they will look like idiots. so they be average. ok this isn't some lecture.

thank you, really. because ill take that into consideration, and see how it works. so thanks. if i havent already done it anyway.

and anonymous, i listen to EVERYBODY. the only thing i keep my ears shut to is nonsense, and thats not even a person :P

you look at me with those perfect eyes
you tell me that im nothing but lies
i sigh, and walk away quietly, wondering
when will you realise, the truth behind those lies
friendship.

-Brad; Muse

NAPFA

2008-05-15T21:01:00.002+08:00

Hey-oo. Haha, alright so today was NAPFA. That, in itself, speaks for, well itself! anyway im kinda sorted out and okay now... sooo *sucks in breath* ITS WRITING TIME AGAIN! :D

Anyway, NAPFA was killer. The 12yr old boys demands was like *wow, like who the hell can do that* well obviously SOME can. i did reasonably well, i think. I mean im athletically fit, but not like a star or anything. Golddd. here i come.

The first test was, as usual, reps, as i like to call them. SIT UPS! so i was quite stupid. Cos theres like a prize right. but i didnt take notice... so after i do 45 (A is 42) i just sleep larh. then i think like TWENTY SECONDS passed, then i was like, OH SHIT I CAN DO SO MUCH MORE LOR.

But anyway, that wasnt a dissapointment. I desperately tried to cheat to some extent for standing broad jump, AKA SBJ. You see, when i jump, i jump normally, AS FAR AS I CAN. then the thing is, when you land, LAND ON YOUR TOES. then twist BOTH feet around so their parrallel and then YOULL SHAVE OFF THE LENGTH OF YOUR FEET! pretty cool huh. but i only managed to do it half way before i fell, fortuately, FORWARDS. So i did pretty well, anyways.

Sit and Reach. SAR. I was kinda dissapointed in that. Cos i knew i could go alot more. Just that, i drank too much water *ashamed* then when i stretch my stomach was like blocking meeee. cos like bloated liddat mah. i got like 11 cm less than what i should have gotten. Keeve thought he broke a tendon. I took a look at his calves, it was fricken inflamed.

Pull Ups werent so bad, i did 25 (which is an A) less than a min, then just rested cos i need to conserve energy for shuttle run. Haha Patrick Kang was like forcing my knees down than i was like mentally swearing at him cos my butt almost touched the ground, in which i would have failed.

Shuttle Run was OK. Got a B. reasonable enough. I fell thats why. i fell. and i lost about two tenths of a second. which btw, is alot....

We had this remake of like Pepsi-Cola. ykno you try to step on other peoples feet with a limited number of moves that kinda crap. but this was MASSIVE. see i think there were 5-8 people on one team. then one team is on one side of the Foyer, the other team on the other side. Then each team has 4 moves each, for everyone. So its like human chess. Usually im the one shouting orders, haha. no joke lor. and thats only because i was captain from dumb luck. So i formed them up into two groups larh. One is the main body, where about 4-6 people are. Then two others will go AROUND the pillar. and flank them. See, since one person can use up all four moves, while they are engaging, one of the turns, we can just dash out and kill at least three of them. umm which is what i did. But Nic Chua was a little hurt cos i ambushed him, awww. Daryl caught on fast, he ambushed me while me and nic hua were arguing about ethics *rolls eyes*. It was fun though.

:D

how can i be your friend
how can i be your confidant
how can i love you
when you dont let me in?
nothing, is impossible with.
love.

-Brad; Muse

Shock

2008-05-14T15:13:00.002+08:00

im sorry, i havent been, quite myself lately.

I havent gotten over the shock.

How... horrible

I couldnt even swear

It was so

cruel

evil

dangerous.

it has stilled my writing abilities.

i dont want to think of it, of you, of any of you.

the written... how can it be.

and if still have no idea what im talking about. lets just say im pissed off by my exam results. Very pissed off. maybe pissed off wouldnt be the word. like dejected, depressed, slumped, horrified. it was so, so shocking. i just, i couldnt talk for the rest of the day. i cant think about it, i cant.

i am so, so sick of english. english lesson, every word i form, takes all my body to push out. everything. i cant bear to think of it. i dont have that much energy. i stay quiet, brooding, waiting. My face shallow and pale, devoid of interest, feelings, thoughts.

So messed up. im messed up. i need to sort myself out.

sigh. turmoil yes. thats the word. when your world is like a globe, picked up, shaken around. no wait. not that. dropped. smashed. broken. yes thats the word, broken.

dont worry, its just well, im just kinda shocked right now. it hasnt worn off. its just so... shocking.

Lord, father in heaven. Protect me. Guide me. Shape me. Amen.

today was weird. i was walking around in a kind of daze really. i need a fricken hug.

keeves party is going to be interesting. well not the party itself really, just the people in it. you might ask now, WELL ARE YOU GOING?! we'll see i guess. we'll see.

i love you, you know.

really. =)

youre standing across the river
just across the river
youre smiling, so close
i put my foot out, it sinks
i dont care, i can swim
whatever it takes
love.

-Brad; Muse

my life

2008-05-12T20:04:00.004+08:00

Right. Well ok. Limin asks me to post about my life, i SHALL do that if thats what you want. Haha. I feel like it anyway

but first, some umm reminders. If you are reading this and you dont see a huge picture above this post, ummm dont freak cos it takes awhile to... COME UP. hahaha.

Alright, well basically, some people think im absolutely brilliant, and really really love me. Those people are my parents, some teachers, some counsellors, and MAYBE my sister. and some very very special friends :D. So just to tell you, im not all that brilliant, haha, but i love you too haha. ..

Well then, there are umm is some/one people/person who i have no right to post what she/he/they say, but they/he/she love me, alot. And well i love him/her/they like heck too okay. haha. dont call me ungrateful.

Now on the OTHER hand. Alot of people call me arrogant, a jerk, a pure asshole. Egoistic. troublemaker. distraction. thing. alright the list goes on and on okay! well, you know i have to admit i have my flaws. so maybe im arrogant sometimes. Its not like im not making an effort. I try. Isnt that which is what counts? Not what you are? but your intentions? Well i dont know about what YOU think, but im quite sure thats how i feel.

Again, im NOT a jerk. AT ALL. i make my mistakes. i hurt people. i feel damn guilty and apologise from morning to night and sometimes get kicked in the face and left to die. I DESERVE that if i hurt you okay? but mind, i dont want it. Now if someone is gonna kick your ass for no good reason and LAUGHS about it, ID call that guy a jerk.

Im not a troublemaker, maybe i just dont work well with you. WHO KNOWS. if i dont then fine, i mean really im not gonna force you on anything. As for distraction... well thats your own opinon. thing... now thats just downright MEAN. im a person you know.

Ive a feeling this is going to be a superlong post.

Alright as for what i think about myself. I dont know really. Im like, confused. What am i really? WHO am i? you see im not totally devoid of knowledge about myself. I know how i act, i know how i should act, and sometimes both of them dont quite match. But im growing and i just need more ME to fill those spaces okay.

Life... right. Oh yeah. I lost my wallet. Not lost really. like, it got stolen from me. Seriously. Someone stole my stapler, then my wallet. Im starting to think Nan Hua students have no integrity. Stapler, IN CLASS. i left it on my table. turn around for just TWO SECONDS. turn back. BAM its gone.

Wallet. fine so maybe that was ALITTLE BIT MY FAULT. BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO STEAL IT NABEH. and like wtf is wrong with general office staff? i dont mean to insult them or anything, their perfectly cooperative when you like trying to photocopy sth, and they follow protocol and shit... BUT WHAT KIND OF CRAP PROTOCOL DISALLOWS THEM FROM MAKING ANNOUNCEMENTS REGARDING THEFT. DAMN. if i catch you with my wallet im gonna break your neck ****. alright sorry. im not a vulgar person but i have limits to my teed offness.

So im quite pissed about that. Sigh. I need friends. Its not as if i dont have friends, i have... quite a satisfactory number of them, but i have to admit, really, not alot. Not as much as the average person at least. I just... sigh. Call me antisocial, ill tell you whatever in your face because i know im not. Im just... CRITICAL. I dont want a friend, whos just.. a friend. just like a rock being a FRIEND. i mean i want someone to understand me, to well know me. to LOVE me. enough of that. dont take me too seriously im abit intoxicated.

So thats my life. a load of crap mostly. Somehow i know my purpose... not telling haha, though you can probably guess. But when do i get my own personal comforts. WHAT are my own personal comforts. idk.

hey and you know, if youre reading this. i love you, a whole, real lot. i just have no words to describe it. and no matter what you think, no matter what i say. i DO. forever. because youre just so much to me. thanks alright, keep smiling :D

when you smile, i am happy for you
when you frown, i want to turn in upside down
but i cant do that unless...
will you let me in?

-Brad; Muse

Commonwealth Poem - Mothers Day

2008-05-11T14:53:00.003+08:00

first of all, id like to say HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOTHERS OUT THERE! and a very special thank you to my own mother, who has sacrificed so much for me. and one more thing mum, WHERE DID YOU PUT MY GRAY TEE?

haha joking joking. Alright so to keep you UNbored i shall post another of my commonwealth thingys, this time its a poem. enjoy.

The Storm

The black clouds were on the horizon
All inside my heart enlightened
Roiling, tumbling and covering my bright skies
All because of your lies

Like the roiling and tumbling clouds
Hate, anger and fear came out from their shrouds
And like the raindrops thundering across the sky
The tears rolled down my cheeks as I cry

Lighting and thunder split the sky
The burnt grass and trees die
And because of the words you had thrown at me
The life in my heart wilted and died for thee

I stood there helpless as you walked away
The storm raging in my heart as I went astray
The lighting and thunder slowly faded
And my life stayed bleak and shaded

Slowly the rain let up to a patter
But you did not try to flatter
Slowly the clouds of hate and anger lay still
But the death and destruction stayed on my sill

Clear blue skies with clean white clouds came back
I did not think about what I lacked
As I stood up and brushed away my tears
I did not think about my fears

Although my skies were blue again
Death and Destruction still reigned
And like the debris and smog
My sadness will stay in my heart like a fog

hmm so how wasit? comments likewise, tagboard or email, choose.

hahaha. okay i shall reply your taggies!

ryan AKA monsterboi: LINKED!
limin: ehee, picture nice right? eeek i didnt know the smell go so far... shudders. and thanks very much limin! haha but i still have alot to go as a writer. :D
cM: weirdly different...
fel: THANKS!!! but unfortunately thats not the case now...
ningxin: i like mdm teo too, just that she is... just lol.
Nic Oh: if youd just open your eyes and look around you, at ME, and see for yourself. because im not the one finding myself in your predictament.
Shanisse: its a'ight. i mean its only right since i know the truth and i was there.

well since ive ALREADY posted a poem... i was ykno wondering if i could take a brea-

crowd: NOO!!!!

well... alright.

i wander in the foreign lands
i look down at my dirty hands
i see you gripping it, tightly
never letting go even slightly
lord guide me, thank you

-Brad; Muse

Commonwealth Essay

2008-05-10T17:05:00.004+08:00

its writing time again! OK so heres a piece i submitted as my commonwealth essay.

========================================================

The Ring

Holding the ring in my hand, I saw in my mind’s eye, twenty years ago… Everything was so simple back then, when I was just six years old.

“Mother, what is this?” I had been curious about the silver band on her fourth finger and asked her about it, unaware of the fleeting yet deep penetrating sadness that crossed my mother’s eyes at that time. Little did I know I was reopening old wounds. My mother quietened for a moment, then started up the conversation.

She picked me up affectionately and stroked my hair gently, an unconvincing smile on her face, and said, “That dearest, is the ring that your father gave to me almost fifteen years ago.” When she said this, her face was twisted into some indecipherable expression; her normally bright and vibrant eyes were replaced by dark and shallow orbs. Her chest was contracted as if she could not breathe.

The only memories I had of my father, were when I was two years old, and they were not nice ones, memories of him shouting at my mother and memories of him slamming the door shut and making a huge racket, going out every night for a drink, because I always remember him coming back smelling of alcohol. Then one day I remember vividly, he was particularly drunk, he was shouting at my mother, she was crying at the mercy his harsh words. Tears were cascading down her cheeks; I vaguely remember her shouting, “Why!” Then, I heard a door slam, and the only sound I heard after that was the gentle sobbing of my mother.

That night my mother swiped away her tears when she saw me. She smiled a half smile and took me to bed. She said to me, “Sweetie, you go to sleep, good night, I will be waiting outside for your father to come back okay. Everything is fine, sweet dreams.”

I heard her go out and wait in the living room. I heard her sobs. Two days later, a newspaper report said that a man crashed into a tree while drink driving, that man was my father.

“Mother, where is daddy?” I asked again, my mind unable to comprehend the fact that I was opening up old scars.

She caressed my head and said, “Daddy is not with us anymore, but maybe one day, we will all be together again, and we will be in the sky.” She smiled the little broken smile of hers at this.

“Why did daddy leave? What happened to him? Why did he shout at you?” a string of questions, perfectly innocent to my young mind poured out. However, those questions had hurt my mother.

She put me down, sighed and said, “Daddy was… troubled. He had a lot on his mind. He was looking for a job, but he was too old. He had not wanted to shout at me dear, he was only trying to protect me, in a way. Now, go along run back to your room and do your homework.”

I had seen a tear run down her cheek, but thought nothing of it then. Now standing here at my mother’s funeral, I realized everything that had happened. I knew why my mother was dead.

My mother, age 49, died on 6th of February, the day my father had died. My mother had been struck by cancer. She knew it; she had hidden all the doctors’ reports, all the medical certificates. She just wanted me to be happy. I was hurt that she did not tell me, but I was also touched, because she cared about my happiness. I believe now that my mother is together with my father, and that she is happy with him.

Now, tightly gripping the ring, my mother’s most treasured possession, a torrent of emotions gripped my heart. A tear formed on my eye, and gently flowed down my cheek. I brushed it away, but more followed.

I did not notice the people around me consoling me; I was focused on the ring, the last thing my mother had given me, the day before she died. She had known she was going to die.

“Son, you have grown up into a strong man. You look just like your father.” She smiled when she said this. “Take this ring, remember, I will be with you in your heart always.”

At the time I did not know what she meant. Now I knew. Now as tears cascaded down my cheeks, I thought of one more thing, maybe one day, I would see my mother and my father, in the sky, just like my mother had said. We could be a family again.

=======================================================

Post your comments please! Or email me at my email add on the left.

Father, Lord, i am so fallible. I don't know what to do, i dont know why i hurt them. I dont know why i hurt myself. Lord help me, guide me. make me the best i can be. Forgive me my sins, and thank you lord for keeping me away from many sins so far. Amen.

i can see the depths of your heart
i can see the hurt that ive caused
i can see why you look at me that way
im sorry, i only hate you because i love you

-Brad;Muse

Results & Stench

2008-05-09T15:16:00.007+08:00

they released the results today. English and Math. i dont want to talk about it. really. But apparently shanisse was accused of cheating by mrs goh, i dont know why mrs goh thought it, but maybe she was just tired and mixed something up. any the reason, shanisse couldnt have cheated, i know because i sat next to her the whole time and she COULDNT have. For one she only had a green pen. And i was keenly aware of all movements around me so i am VERY certain she didnt cheat.

God, thank you. you have helped me exactly as i asked for. only my own foolishness overwhelmed me. Guide me by your hand lord. Thank you. Amen.

On to funnier things. yesterday, something weird happened. To explain this properly, we need to go back a week.

You see, my classmates, GEPers as they are, decided to keep a fish tank in our class. A fish tank that contained fish, frogs, tadpoles, and such. A fish tank that would require maintenance, and in which a few provided.

Then the frogs died. We did not quite care. But we did care about the bodies. Zi Jian wanted to vivisect them. Personally i thought it was just downright silly, but i am not one to intrude on anothers decision on what to do with their stuff. So they put the frogs in a jar, and promptly forgot about it.

Fastforward a week. Zi jian gets a bright idea. Hey, its been long enough, lets vivisect the frogs now! wouldnt that be an AWESOME idea. So he took the lid of the container...

Within two seconds everyone was covering their noses and shouting swear words. Now i could have stopped myself from smelling it. My brain TRIED to shut down that neural function, seeing as i smelt it six seconds later than everyone else. But unfortunately, i was in a state of distraction. UNFORTUNATELY.

I have to say though, it hit me a lot harder than everyone else. See my nose is very, very sensitive. My immune system is strong so it makes up for that lacking. But i can smell very, very little smells. Big, strong, imposing smells have a sort of effect on me, as you would imagine from my unfortunate experience.

We cleared the classroom, afraid of the strong scent, chasing after us like a hound, devouring us. i could ALMOST feel it in the air. It was MONDO creepy.

So we hung outside 6K's classroom. Mdm teo then berated Zi Jian, sarcastically asking him to stuff the thing inside his bag and bringing it home. I agreed with her. Then i went into the classroom and realised he was sitting beside me.

I screamed for him to use soap.

That was the end of that.

If he touched me, i might not be here typing this.

I might have melted.

Heres my Personality Disorder Test

Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

when you smile, my heart smiles with you
when you smile, my heart aches
because i know i am not the one the smile is for
when you smile.

-Brad; Muse

Mathematics

2008-05-06T17:49:00.004+08:00

Mathematics. Spawn of Logic. Bane of Literature. Giver, of science. and a whole lot evil when used in exam papers.

It was HORRENDUS. I tell you after that my brain was fried. Its not that you dont know how to solve the questions. Oh solving the questions are EASY. its just REEAAALY tedious. Eeek, i think my hand brokennn.

Haha. I just thoguht of something. Last time Mdm Teo, which is my Sci teacher larh. She like, i mean shes a good teacher and all and sometimes she can be fun and stuff. But she like very... Ahhh you read then you know.

Mdm Teo: Keeve, where is your file.

Keeve *with huge big smile plastered over face* : Errr. hehe. I think i umm, left it at home.

Mdm Teo: I dont see why it is funny, keeve

Keeve: Errr. LOL *abruptly stops smiling*

(obviously it was a fake smile meant to TRY to lighten the whole situation. Obviously the idiot didnt know how to use it.)

Mdm Teo: Personally, i dont think it is funny.

Keeve: I dont think its funny.

Mdm Teo: Then why were you laughing.

Keeve: Err. lol *much more meekly*

Mdm Teo: ha.-ha. (REALLY. SARCASTICALLY.)

Keeve: ...

Me & Classmates: pffftt.....

Mdm Teo: ....ha.

Me & Classmates: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

See?

-Dear Father in heaven. Thank you for the gifts you have provided. Forgive thy sins. Though my sins were unforgivable, you can show me the light. Please. Show me strength, show me truth, show me wisdom. Show me the light.

Amen.

if you didnt know me that way
if i didnt notice your eyes
if the pain wasnt too much to bear
where would i be...

-Brad; Muse

Confessions of the Troubled Soul winks

2008-05-05T14:38:00.003+08:00

wow. today was INTENSE. two exams. i dont know how i survived. And tomorrow is math, i have to concentrate, seriously. Mug mug mug and mug some more.

Do you feel like a man

By the way, if anyone out there reading this now has a good piece of writing, maybe a short story, or a book, or a mini-book, you can send it to me, at my email address. I want to read it.

When you push her around?

While im not an incredible writer. As limin might proclaim...

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

I hope i can at least comment wisely on your piece. Or it might be so amazing i might recommend it to be published.

Well I'll tell you my friend

God. Thank you for the food on the table everyday. Thank you for the new light. I have sinned agains't you. Forgive me father. Please help me. Give me strength, wisdom, clarity of thought and confidence. Give me light. Give me a friend. Amen.

One day this world's gonna end

My favourite question in this world is why. Not why what. Just why.

As your lies crumble down

Sigh. It's because everytime i ask myself why. I have no answer

A new life she has found

-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Face Down

Replies to tags:
fel: OF COURSE YOU CAN, tho i doubt i can make it any better :D. My taggie is not weird lor. Just different
limin: shanisse isnt popular. dont get over yourself. shes arrogant and sadistical enough as it is. Besides, i nvr say anything bad about the people yeah. Its the beliefs that irk me.
xing yun: YES MY JUNIOR. I AM YOUR SENIOR, BRADLEY YAM. ahahahaha.
cm: My taggie is not weird *pouts*
yironggg: LINKED

the mind; i know what you think, i agree with you
the heart; i know what you feel, i am with you
the soul; i do not know where you are. come.

-Brad; Muse

Daryl, Nic Oh

2008-05-04T19:41:00.006+08:00

This post is about Daryl. By now we must all concede that Daryl is a fun loving, good natured likable boy. Therefore he has befriended many. Recently he sprained his wrist, and was crying in pain.

NIC OH WTF LARH U WHAT EYES STAINED WITH RED, IF ITS PERMANENTLY STAINED YOU BETTER BE SORRY.

Now he was only crying because it hurt, WHATS THE FRICKEN PROBLEM?! If i was him, i wouldnt want people to CROWD around me while i was writhing in agony RIGHT?! and can dont so drama larh. HES NOT DYING.

Daryl, my sincerest wishes for you to get better alright.

NOW THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS NOW NICHOLAS IS BECAUSE OF YOU. Personally, youre alright, youre not dislikable, but you can be if you want to be. No one wants to befriend you, simply because youre not right for them. Its like trying to make Apple Juice with Orange. Doesnt work.

So chill man. Either 1) change yourself, your attitude, cos it really sucks. 2) go find more people like yourself.

and your poem SUCKS.

Honestly okay.

Denouncement. I DENOUNCE that i am Emo. I am NOT emo. It is so freaking obvious. Sometimes im sad, sometimes im deep in thoughts, sometimes im melancholy, and only very very rarely, do you(referring to classmates) get to see a sliver, just a tiny scrape, more than a trillionth of a fraction, of who I am. Again. I am NOT emo. Sigh, people just fear what they dont understand.

Anyways, im not emo, but i can compose poems haha. Okay here goes.

our time is so short, its running out
i cant reach you yet
why do you harbour that doubt
the impression i get
you can see me truly
but why do you choose not to believe
you know me really
you drain me out, let go of the sieve
believe...

Brad; Muse
=============================================================

Rant 1

2008-05-04T16:31:00.005+08:00

In this post i shall elucidate on my extreme hatred of the current school beliefs. Note: all characters real or imaginary mentioned in this post, please note that i do not hate YOU, i hate the BELIEFS. so dont take it to heart.

First of all, popularity. I mean seriously. Fine. You live in america, youre like a bigass cheerleader, the whole school knows you. You have your own clique and like minions which can like do your shopping for you. Fine. I mean honestly, if youre actually like that, call yourself popular and i wont give a shit.

Ok. singaporean PUPIL. TWELVE YEARS AND UNDER. in GEP. Note GEP is ostracized by many mainstreamers by being classified as nerd. My year at least. Not opinion, fact. Then, has a tiny clique of friends. Fine all your friends like you. And wowee you know, suddenly your popular. If the world consisted of 10 people then yes, youd be a megastar. But HELLO?! ITS NOT!

Shanisse, you are well liked. Your personality is likable. You can adapt and shit. But your not popular. okay?

Jasmine. just dont try and act like *shrill voice* oh like wha-atev-er. cos your not. seriously. and if you want to continue being like that, you can go join the bimbo group for all i care.

Next. Pettiness. Arrogance. Delusions of Grandeur. Your a bigshot CEO of some shitass computer company. Youre worth billions of dollars and if you kill someone you can get out if it easy. You can AFFORD to be arrogant, not delusions of grandeur, but REAL grandeur.

Later, a pupil. Same. GEP. Singaporean. Twelve and under. LIKE CMON SRSLY. YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOURE THE ASSISTANT HEAD PREFECT OR THE HEAD PREFECT OR EVEN A PREFECT YOU THINK YOURE SO GREAT. WELL YOUR NOT. You are NOTHING. you get shot and the police will spend a MONTH no more to investigate. who the hell do you think you are. you re NOTHING.

I dont care if youre a richass kid with like Nike bags and Gucci wallets and shit. YOURE STILL NOTHING. Everybody starts out nothing, its what you want to make yourself INTO that counts.

Nicholas. Lay off the "omg im so damn cool and rich so like i want everybody to follow me and ykno what, you suck cos my like ideas are so great and yours arent" shit cos like thats a load of fricken bullshit.

Justin. What you think just cos you can SHOUT you can like be SOMEBODY. FINE GO AND BE A PROFESSIONAL YELLER SEE HOW MUCH YOU EARN A WEEK. LIKE 5 BUCKS.

And anyone out there whos like, omg if justin doesnt like me ill be like, unpopular. what a bunch of PUSSIES. You rely on other people in the real world you get ASSED. If you cant get friends by yourself youre LESS THAN NOTHING.

My point here is, have your own personality, your own beliefs, your own FRIENDS. you dont need to follow the people in the world. And if you think youre popular just because you have alot of friends, youre not. 9/10 people in my contact list are my friends and i have 400+ people there. And im still NOTHING. because i cant earn my own money, i dont even have a PSLE result to show for it.

So just SEE yourself for who you truly are. and stop deluding yourself. EVERYBODY.

Aha. alright now remember to keep an eye out for those previews. Ill post some of my other works sometime too...

Ive grown so close, so near
to seperate us i fear
would tear out a piece of me
to leave it in your eternal decree
stay...

Brad; Muse
=============================================================

Clothes

2008-05-04T09:48:00.004+08:00

OMG. What the hell happened. WHAT HAPPENED.

A week ago, my cupboard was FULL of awesome clothes.

Today. They're all either TOO SMALL. or TOO BIG

Well, except my jeans.

I love my jeans, they would never betray me.

Speaking of, I haven't worn those Levi's yet.

If you havent already read it, go read my BOOK PREVIEW under Le Musique.

More Book Preview updates to be coming soon

Keep your eyes peeled for Chapter 2!

Spring; the flowers and wind and grass and gleams
Summer; the streams the heat the fun
Autumn; the leaves the brown the wind and the clouds
Winter; the snow the ice the cold the chill
where...

Brad; Muse

Book Preview - Chapter 1

2008-05-03T11:27:00.011+08:00

Chapter 1:

A note sang through the air, bouncing off the wall, rebounding off the ceiling and finally rang through Miss Colletteâ€™s ears.

â€œStop it, stop it! Itâ€™s all wrong, look, bend your arms this way and slowly pull your bow up, then one swift motion down. Keep your bow straight. Come on try it again.â€ Miss Collette cringed with disgust then reprimanded me and shoved the bow up and down like how I was supposed to do it.

I rolled my eyes at her. For three weeks now we have been going over the second movement, Andante Cantabile, of Mozartâ€™s fourth violin concerto in D major. Over three weeks I plowed through the first two pages of the movement. I hardly ever practiced, so each week was like the repetition of the last, except I improved bit by bit each lesson. I had two lessons each week in the night. Miss Collette lived in Boulevard 3 of Sixth Avenue in Loches, it was relatively easy to get to her place by bicycle, and I only lived two streets away.

Her house looked old and faded, maybe it would have looked different fifty years ago. The outside brick walls of the house might have been a rich reddish mahogany, the roof might have been full of porcelain tiles painted a layered bluish violet. After thirty years of pattering rain, lighting, thunder and balls being kicked against the walls, the previously rich mahogany faded and turned a dark violet, tinted with a hint of red. The roof tiles must have fallen by the dozen each time a lighting bolt struck close. There only remained seven or eight tiles, some where already grey. The lucky few to have survived discolouration was a greenish brown from the moss and extensive rain. It rained quite a lot in this part of Paris, the rain caused the ground around the house to be damp and wet, and the house itself was damp most of the time.

Every time I visited and waited for Miss Collette to open the door, a musty smell crept up my nose and gave me a strange sense of home. Despite carrying moss spores and a large amount of slightly intoxicating oxygen, it smelt oddly pleasant. The robins here almost always sang from their nests hidden away in the yew tree in the houseâ€™s back. The only reason they did not sing was because of a storm.

As I step into the house, everything changes dramatically. The rich carpeted floor provided me with stunning views of deep oak brown and red violet. The walls had a comforting layer of wood wallpaper. The furniture was mostly varnished dark, rich wood. The music studio sat in the second level of the house; it had almost an entire array of orchestra instruments in her studio. It was soundproof and had several amplifiers for small instruments.

Miss Collette herself, in comparison to the house, was quite different. She was small, almost minute. At seventeen I towered over her by almost a head. In her late twenties, Miss Collette was considered a beauty in most parts of the world, but in Paris she was just another woman. She had a nice figure, and auburn brown hair. She carried around with her a floral scent of rosemary, the whole house smelt like her.

When I looked at Miss Collette, sometimes I saw a good teacher, a source of inspiration, a great musician, a friend, a confidant, and wise. But most of the time I just saw a bossy, insecure, emotive and perfectionist teacher sitting on a stool barking directions at me.

As I steadily neared the end of the first part of the movement, I turned my head away from the score and just played out the rest. The notes sounded different, I realized, they were sharper, more precise, and there was something else different too. I ended with a firm down bow and let my arms rest. Overall the piece was okay, but there were certain parts of it where I almost murdered the concerto.

Miss Collette sighed, just as she would at the end of every lesson recently. â€œEric, you really need to put in more effort, you arenâ€™t putting in much effort at all.â€ I nodded, just as I would every time she said it. She looked at me and touched my shoulder, â€œYou have the potential, and I can see that you can do it, that you have it in you, its justâ€¦â€

â€œWhat Miss Collette?â€ I asked, my face contorted into a concerned look. All of a sudden she looked jaded, old and sad. Then she returned to normal and assuaged my worries, â€œIts nothing, nothing. Remember Eric, practice makes perfect.â€

I packed up my violin and carried my case to the front door. I put it down and put on my coat and soft leather shoes. Then as Miss Collette opened the door, I picked up my violin case and strode outside into the slight drizzle. It was cold, winter was coming soon. It wouldnâ€™t snow, but it would be cold. I turned around, just in time to see a light smile, and the door closing.

As I took my time pacing my way home, I reflected on what Miss Collette said. What did she mean by that? Was she trying to tell me something useful for once? I decided that was not exactly fair and put it out of my mind. I decided to concentrate on more important things like what was for dinner and what was on television today.

***

I opened the door to my house and hung up my coat. On the outside, it was quite the same as Miss Colletteâ€™s house; a lot of houses on Loches Sixth Avenue looked like that. However, on the inside it was a lot different. While Miss Colletteâ€™s house was fairly lit, my house was lit to the point of almost glaring. The light reached almost everywhere; it was somewhat plain with blue and white walls. The furniture was a mix of wood and metal chars and tables.

In my house, you could smell a pleasant tangy smell of butterscotch because of the daisy plants all around the house. My mum loved flowers, daisies in particular. She said it gave her a sense of belonging and inspiration. When I entered the kitchen she stepped towards me and combed back my hair and stroked my face by habit. She then asked, â€œHow did it go Eric? I know that concerto is pretty hard but I donâ€™t see you practicing much.â€

For the second time that day I rolled my eyes. I didnâ€™t know what the big deal about practicing was; all you did was doing the same thing over and over again the same way over and over again. Nothing would come out of it, of course unless you are not exactly perfect yet. But I did not see the point of practicing when you were almost perfect either.

â€œIt was fine mum, so whatâ€™s for dinner?â€ I asked, grinning mischievously as I expertly maneuvered out of the topic of my violin lessons. My mum continued on about the delicious spaghetti and soup we were all about to have in a few minutes. I loved my mother when she talked about her famous spaghetti and soup. When she finished her ultimatum of â€œget down here by seven thirty or no dinner for youâ€ I loped upstairs to my room. Since when I was four and we first moved it my mum decorated my window and bedside table with daisy plants. My bed was against two walls, with my bedside table at the head of the bed. A meter away from me bed was my study table. The walls were the same white and blue walls. But on the wall beside my bed I tacked several pictures. Some of Mozart, some of Beethoven, others of people like athletes, singers and actors. But among them, smack in the middle of the whole lot, was a picture of Lori.

Ah Lori, the sweetness of my life, with her cute beautiful eyes and her wonderful angular face. Her brownish auburn hair complimented her lips as they flowed over her shoulders and ended at her elbows. She was almost nearly as tall as me, but not quite yet. She was my age, but I was a month older than her. So far she rejects guys like someone would flush goldfishes down the toilet. Apparently she considers guys â€œimmature, and idioticâ€. Her thick lips would enunciate every syllable as she said them. I observed her beauty from a distance, silently biding my time, until I worked up enough nerve and courage and also confidence that I would not get totally faced on my first attempt. I sighed as I looked at my watch. 7:29 p.m.

I bolted out of my room down the stairs shouting that I was coming fast. I joined my father, older sister and younger brother as my mother put some steaming spaghetti on my plate and a big pot of soup in the middle of the table. Everybody grinned and dug in.

***

The duty of playing the violin was shoved on me at the mere age of six. My mother claimed it was stimulating to the mind and went on about passion and inspiration music brought. Since then Iâ€™ve learnt to endure the little speeches my mother always gave when I complained about practicing the violin.

Part of the reason I had to play it was because I came from a line of musicians. My mother played the viola, my father played the cello. Like me, my sister who was twenty one this year played the violin. My younger brother, Jeremy, who was twelve followed in my fathers footsteps and played the cello. He was a bit too small to play a full sized cello so my parents gave him a size 5 cello on his ninth birthday. My grandfather, who has since passed away, played the double bass, and he was considered one of the most celebrated musicians in his time, Erickson George Klein. My mother claims that I was named after him. They named my sister after my grandmother, Rose George Klein, my sisters name was Rosemarie. My grandmother Rose played the Violin and the Viola; she could be seen playing either in some parks or streets, for free. She occasionally came to visit and play a few concertos for us.

My grandmother claimed that our family came from a long line of musicians originally starting from Johann Sebastian Bach, apparently one of the musicians who inspired Mozart in his early stages. When she visited she would tell great tales of how we descended from the second surviving child of Bachâ€™s seven children. I always maintained a respectful silence but I thought to myself that maybe my grandmother had gone a bit cuckoo.

As my father stacked the plates on top of the pot, I could see why my mother married him, other than being a fellow musician. He had large muscular shoulders, and as he hefted the heavy cutlery you could see the rippling under his shirt.

His arms werenâ€™t big and bulging like some body builders I knew, but they were still muscular, I wondered when my arms where going to look like that. He had a head of soft, light brown hair; they reached down to his ears and cast a shadow over his squared face. I knew I got my light brown hair from him.

While I looked like any other Parisian boy, handsome but not gorgeous, yet, my sister was wholly different. My sister, at twenty one, was extremely beautiful. She had a deep rich brown hair that curled and whorled its way over her shoulders. Her face was similar to my mums, but sharper, more defined. She had just broken up with her previous boyfriend, so it was kind of touchy around her.

My brother on the other hand, was still hyper-active at the age of twelve. He could be very mature and intelligent if he wanted to be, we could all see that. But he wanted his childhood, so we let him enjoy it while it lasted.

***

Having stuffed myself with spaghetti and soup, I politely excused myself from the table and started toward the stairs. My parents were still in the dining room talking politics, and my brother had long since locked himself in the bathroom after eating way too much.

As I started up the stairs, I noticed my sister quietly slinking up the second flight of stairs to her bed room. I noticed her eyes were sad and empty, somehow her normally honey coloured eyes had turned a dark yellow. Her face looked slouched and devoid of interest. Her posture was slung forward as if she could not support a weight on her back.

I sighed quietly to myself; sometimes I just could not understand girls, especially my sister. A long time ago, I had asked my mother about it, she just smiled softly and told me that girls matured faster than boys, at that I wrinkled my nose and walked away, slightly offended.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know what you think... Ah yes, any attempt to copy any part of this will result in dire consequences, namely, i will sue your ass off.

BTW you can find this on Limins blog too, but wayyy wayy down. you can ask me for a copy if you want.

how can you see me in this dark
how can you hear me in this noise
how can you feel me behind that wall
come.

-Brad; Muse
====================================================================

Ello All.

2008-05-03T10:59:00.009+08:00

He-Ay!

Im still working out the kinks, so bear with me. If you want me to link you you can tag, like limin has done, haha, or email me at bradz_delta@hotmail.com. :D Add me if you want. Yeah i do have MSN.

Anyways how is it that the new blogger doesnt accept MANNY skins cos their not properly "formatted" i had like a seriously fricken hard time getting the skin to work. WHY i ask.

Btw, ill soon be posting my first previews of my book here yeah, so keep reading! Alright gotta go do my work now, aha. Bye

P.S you can view my books in the Le Musique section.

why do you stare back at me
why do you care
why do i bother
im nothing in your glare

-Brad; Muse

Music; Take Me Away

The Class

Gundam 00 AMV

Dedication: Friends

Graduation

Quiz 52

posts posts and more posts

Justin's Outing

Passion and Love. Twin Doves of Destiny

waiting

im not emo!

pleas for help

tag replies

My Nightmare

why.

the music

when i find you.

bitch of a day

in the spring of morning

let the sleeping rest

The Fako, The Story, and The Darkness

remnants.

School Reopening

Names Names n more Names.

Birthday Month Quiz.

Birthdays and Fathers Day

Muttons at Midnight, Homework, Pictures, Random, Sneak Peaks

Paramore n Hayley

Pics o' you me him her ...bleah

Dreams and Reality

Da Music Quiz

A Walk To Remember

Fall For You, all over again

The Merlion, The Nic Oh and The Poem

The Strike

Happenings

Predictable

anonymous replies

NHPS Jumble, Pain

anonymous replies

Reply; Anonymous

NAPFA

Shock

my life

Commonwealth Poem - Mothers Day

Commonwealth Essay

Results & Stench

Mathematics

Confessions of the Troubled Soul *winks*

Daryl, Nic Oh

Rant 1

Clothes

Book Preview - Chapter 1

Ello All.

Confessions of the Troubled Soul winks